Storm Academy: Tale of Falsities

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter 16: Passed Out

I slowly sat down in the corner and let my tears fall down. Para akong pinag-bagsakan ng langit at lupa sa narinig ko. I stared into oblivion and didn't hear anything that they said. It was like I wasn't even there anymore.

Biglang na-blanko ang utak ko at hindi alam kung ano ang paniniwalaan at hindi. Kung tama ba ang mga pinag-iisip ko dati o hindi. They've lied and hid something from me. So big that it could've changed the way I perceived life; How I perceive myself.

It wasn't just a simple mission like my sisters. It was my whole identity! The identity I once believed would never be mine. The identity I hoped to become. The identity I thought of day and night and how it'll change the course of my life.

But I didn't know that they'd deprived me of that. That they've hid that part from me. Para akong isang bata na nawala sa isang mall. Walang kilalang tao, walang alam na mapupuntahan. In my seventeen years of existence, I believed that I wasn't extraordinary. That my blood wasn't like my sisters. That I would never be good enough.

I wiped my tears and stood up. I smiled at them. "I'm fine po. Sorry for e-eavesdropping." I told them and quickly ran away.

Narinig ko ang tawag nila ngunit tuloy tuloy lamang ako sa pagtakbo. I held a knob and quickly twisted it. Nasa dorm na ulit ako. I ran as fast as I could outside, not minding the stares I'm accumulating. Hindi ko nga makita ng maayos ang dinadaanan ko, sila pa kaya.

I headed straight into the Lake of Birth. I tried to climb one of the smaller trees like Jerome, but I just can't. Itinigil ko ito at mahinang sinusuntok ang puno. Ang walang muwang na puno ang nilalabasan ko ng hinanakit.

"I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine," paulit ulit kong sabi. Making myself believe I'm fine.

Napaluhod ako at umiyak ng mahina kaharap ang puno.

"I said I'm fine." My voice broke. Tears started to race each other out of my eyes.

Tumalikod ako at unti-unting sumandal sa puno. The lake lit up. Tumawa ako ng mapakla.

"Congratulations, baby." mahina kong sabi.

I just felt my entire belief system crashed down. I don't know how to act. How am I supposed to act? Am I even allowed to cry? I should be happy right? I have abilities!

I... have... abilities...

"Yay." I celebrated.

What am I supposed to do now? Will they still let me take that drug? Another batch of tears came out. At ngayon, napa-hagulgol na ako.

The life I had was all fake. Hindi ko alam kung hanggang saan ang peke. I don't know how to differentiate them.

The sky was mourning with me. The rain created such loud noises that it overcame my loud mind. Lumabas ako sa puno at nagpabasa ng ulan. I've always wanted to try this.

You know, laughing in the rain. But here I am now, crying with the clouds. The universe is conspiring to make me feel miserable. How will I stand up again? Para akong bagong silang na sanggol na hindi alam ang gagawin. I can only cry and laugh without them knowing what I really want.

I hear loud splashes behind me. I guess they've found me already. My breathing became heavy again. Tears started forming again. How can I face everybody? I'm not who I thought I am.

Tumigil ang taong naglalakad. Siguro ay nasa likod ko na siya. "Simon—" I didn't have the time to register the voice and I quickly shouted, "I'm fine po!"

Itinaas ko ang dalawa kong tuhod at niyakap ito.  Tumungo ako at do'n umiyak muli. Bakit ba ang drama ko? I said I'm fine. I'm fine with knowing that I'm not who I am. I'm fine with realizing the lie I lived in. I'm fine with forgetting who I am.