Midst of Chaos

XXVII

I don't know what to feel. When I got home last night ay sobrang pagod ko na that I wasn't able to check my phone which i freaking freaking regret.

When morning came ay naligo ako, nagbihis, at kumain. When i checked my phone i received text messages from him.

From: OGAG

All along i know it was my fault. I'm sorry for hurting you. Sorry if I wasn't able to fulfill my promise on not hurting you. Sorry for being a jerk. Sorry Z.

I remember when you let me call you Z, i felt butterflies in my stomach. Yes, butterflies. I know it sounded like not me but i really felt it. It was like, slowly, I am getting closer to you. It was like one step closer to you.

Z, before i go i want to hear your voice. Because i don't know if can hear it again. I am going to the states. I will not continue my studies in UP. I didn't told you that because I'm too afraid.

Z, can i see you tonight? Just for a minute? Please. I'll be waiting for you. Kahit dito lang sa receiving area ng building ng unit mo. Maghihintay ako Z. "

I bit my lips before I read again the other message from him.

" Z, it looks like i can't meet you."

I scrolled my phone and read another one.

" I'm going to miss you. Sorry for hurting you Z. I know that I don't deserve you. I'm sorry. "

I scrolled again.

"Go my future CPA, chase your dreams. Reach it without me. If i knew that we will end right now, i should have given you all the things that you deserve pero wala eh. Hindi ko nagawa. I'm sorry. Sorry kung nasaktan kita. Sorry kung hindi ko natupad ang pangako kong hindi kita iiwan. "

"Goodbye, love. but always remember na mahal na mahal kita pero hanggang dito nalang siguro tayo."

"Sorry kung napakagago ko."

That was months ago. I remember how I hurriedly come out of my unit at pumunta sa receving area. Pagkadating ko doon ay wala na siya. I know its ridiculous kasi alam kong wala na siya. But i still believe on the idea na nandoon pa din siya.

Napangiti ako ng mapakla bago tumalikod at naglakad pabalik sa kwarto ko.

"Ay, Ma'am! Ma'am!"

Napatigil ako ng may tumawag sa akin. Kaya naman ay lumingon ako at tiningnan kung sino iyon.

"Po?" tanong ko kay Ate na anak ng may-ari ng building ng unit ko

"Ah kasi po may nagpapabigay sa inyo. Kaso po kagabi pa po kasi iyan kaya ganiyan na po ang itsura. Hehe, gwapo ng boyfriend niyo po ma'am" ngiting wika ni Ate sabay bigay sa akin ng bulaklak

Napangiti ako ng makitang mga sunflowers iyon. Nag-iiba na din ang kulay ng mga petals nya. Napangiti ako sa nakita. I told him last time how i like sunflowers and her it is he gave me a bouquet of it.

Nakita ko ang card doon at binasa ang nakasulat.

"

Z,

I love you. I'm sorry.

Drew

"