Cliche (Love Series # 1)

f o u r t e e n

Ambiguity

(noun)

am·bi·gu·i·ty\ˌam-bə-ˈgyü-ə-tē\

: something that does not have a single clear meaning
: something that is ambiguous

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I had never cared for Valentine's day since it's only for couples and people who have one sided love with someone. For me, it's just another day to pass on and a legitimate reason for couples to act mushy and flirty together.

It never really stuck my mind that I would hate it, but I did, because of him.

I think I've become a little foolish, my mind would always wander to him and I would get so frustrated when it comes to him. Every little thing that surrounds him, affects me, and I hate it.

Is this what it feels like to like someone? It's tiring and exhilarating at the same time, it's everything I wanted yet it can be too much for me, I don't know anymore.

I've read a lot of romance stories, saw it from movies and heard it from songs. I thought I understand them since I've become conscious of the fact that girls and guys are different. I thought I can finally be confident since I've experience love and that I've savored the sweet like cotton candy love and at the same time tasted the bitter like lemon heartache.

I always hated those foolish infatuated idiots but here I am, becoming one, how ironic.

"What's the sigh about?"

I looked to my right and saw my grandma, she was watering the plants while I sat on the wooden sea, facing her smiling face. I was sitting on the porch with my unfinished plate on the glass table. I leaned back on my seat, considering the pros and cons of telling my grandma about my situation and ultimately deciding.

"Just... there's this girl.." she hummed indicating for me to continue. "She uh... she have a crush on this guy and they really get along together. She thinks that the guy l-like her because he gives... signs, I'm not sure- I mean she's not sure! But uh- yeah, do you think she should confess to him or not?"

I bit my lower lips awaiting for her answer, she placed the watering can from the ground and walked over me. Then she sat next to me before taking my hand with her before opening her lips.

"Nak, this girl should have the guts to confess I mean it's the twentieth century, girls can make the first move now. It's better to confess rather than regret that you didn't confess" I looked at her, my grandma isn't usually this serious but she must have notice the glum expression in my face.

"But it's.... it's difficult for her to do that. Just the thought of it sends her in a frenzy and the obvious feeling of a mouse on her chest grows"

I heard her sigh and felt like I was too much of a coward but what can I do? This nerve wracking feeling never fades and instead increases to the point I couldn't even breath.

"Nak, love is a very difficult thing, those who remain with their love ones are the strongest, the weak ones can only let go in fear of the hurdles they're about to face. So go and tell her that, make sure she have the confidence to stand with her love one"

I hummed I'm acknowledgement as she lowers my head till it reaches her shoulder. I scoot to her side and leaned to her before shutting my eyes on contemplation.

Maybe in another time I can do that, maybe because I don't really think that I'll ever confess my feelings for him.

Number one reason is my pride, I would never lower myself and confess to him. Second, I have this fear that this close relationship of us would break if I confess to him and last reason, the fear of the future.