Fate and Destiny

SEVENTEEN

Sungjae noticed the silence when he entered the house.  Taking his coat off, he went to check on Joy and Youngjae.  He found her in the kitchen baking cookies.  Leaning against the doorjamb, he silently watched her.  He couldn't understand why, but it felt good to see her comfortably moving about in his kitchen.  It felt right, like she belonged there.  Joy saw him as she turned around to put the baked cookies on the counter to cool.  "Oh! Sungjae-ssi. You're home," Joy said, smiling at him.  "Yeah. I just got in," he replied, walking up to the counter.  "It's too quiet. Jaejae's already asleep?" he asked her as he sat on a stool.  "No. He's at your parents' house. They came by the school to pick him up. They're taking him to the amusement park tomorrow because Jaejae kept telling them how much he wants to go there," Joy explained.  "Your eomma didn't call you?" she asked him.  "She must have forgotten," Sungjae replied.  "But why are you home early? Didn't you meet with your hyung-deul?" Joy inquired.  "I did. But Eunkwang hyung had to leave early," Sungjae fibbed.  Sorry, hyung, Sungjae silently apologized to Eunkwang.  "Have you eaten? Ahjumma made dinner. I could warm it up for you," she offered.  "No. It's okay. We ate before we went home. What about you?" Sungjae asked her.  "I already ate. I wasn't sure what time you're coming home, so..." Joy trailed off.  Sungjae has already lost count of the times Joy said the word home, but he still feels giddy every time she does.  Mentally shaking himself, he took out a bottle of wine from the chiller.  "Are you done baking?" he asked her.  "Yes. This is the last batch. I'm just letting it cool down before I put them in the jar," she said.  "Then have some wine with me. We haven't had a chance to really chat since you and Jaejae came to live here," he said.  "Okay. What do you want to talk about?" Joy asked.  She took out a store-bought charcuterie board from the refrigerator to go with the wine then went to the living room.  "I'm actually curious about what hyung's life was like after he left home. He never told me about your unnie or how they met," Sungjae said, sitting on the couch.  "Well, they met at the orphanage where Sohee unnie and I grew up. We still volunteer there whenever we have time even after we left. There was an event that your company sponsored. Unnie and I were helping the housemothers. Sungjin oppa talked to unnie about the orphanage and that's where it all started," Joy said as she sat beside him.  "How did your unnie reacted when she found out hyung was a chaebol?" he asked as he handed her a glass of wine.  "Thanks," she said, taking the glass from him.  "We didn't know he was one, at first. That time, he was wearing a T-shirt and jeans. He never complained when he was asked to carry heavy stuff or do manual tasks. Although he exuded an aura of someone in authority, he never put an air of being superior. So unnie and I thought that he was just one of the employees sent by your office for the event. They were already dating when she learned the truth about him. Like me, unnie just want a simple life. She thinks she can't have that with him, so she stopped seeing him," Joy told him.  "So that's why he was depressed for a while," Sungjae said, almost to himself.  "But they did get back together," he said aloud.  "Yes, after a while. Sungjin oppa was persistent, but unnie wasn't changing her mind. Until oppa almost got into an accident because he was too drunk. Unnie saw how broken he was, and being soft-hearted, she took him back. Then oppa told her that he was being pushed into an arranged marriage. He wanted to elope but unnie didn't agree with him, and broke it off again with him. She knows it's a common practice in your circle, and she wouldn't be able to compete with whoever your parents chose. But Sungjin oppa said he refused the agreement. Unnie doesn't want to cause grief in your family, so she made the decision for the both of them. She left without telling anyone. Not even me. I just woke up one morning to find her and all her belongings gone. All she left was a note telling me not to worry because she'll be fine, and that I shouldn't look for her. I think she did that so I won't have to lie to Sungjin oppa if he ask me where she is. I don't know how he found her, but after a few months, oppa called to tell me that they were in Jeju and that they are getting married," Joy narrated.  "Were they happy?" Sungjae asked.  "Oh, yes. They may be struggling a little financially, but they were very happy. Especially when Jaejae was born. It never crossed my mind that they won't be able to see him grow up," Joy said, tearing up.  Since he's not very good in comforting crying women, Sungjae remained silent.  Shaking herself mentally, Joy turned to Sungjae.  "Do you want to know how Jaejae got his name?" she asked him.  "How?" he asked, thankful for her changing the topic.  "When Jaejae was born, Sungjin oppa said he looks a lot like you. So he wanted to name him after you, or at least take a part of your name. He said he doesn't know when he'll see you again or if he'll ever see you again, and he wants something to remember you by. But Sohee unnie said she also wants to name him after me. So they compromised. Since you're the man, unnie said your name should be first so she suggested Jaeyoung. But oppa said Youngjae is better because it sounded like Sungjae. He was also the one who gave him the nickname Jaejae," Joy explained.  "That's how hyung calls me. Jaejae. He's the only one who does," Sungjae told her.  "Really?" Joy was surprised.  Sungjae nodded.  "I thought he forgot all about me," Sungjae said.  "No. He really missed you a lot. Whenever I would stay with them during school breaks, I would often see him just staring at Jaejae. And every time he would tell him he loves him, I could see so much love in his eyes. There were times when I would hear him apologize to Jaejae. Back then, I never understood why he would do that, or for what. But now I realize, whenever he tell Jaejae that he loves him, he was also saying it to you. And I guess he was apologizing to you through Jaejae as well. He had always felt guilty for leaving you behind. He once said that maybe if he stayed, you wouldn't be stuck in the company and you would probably be one of the best photographers in the country," Joy told him.  "Hyung knew I was interested in photography, so he gave me a camera as an early high school graduation gift. I wanted to take photography, but appa wanted me to study business. We argued until hyung stepped in. He convinced me to follow appa. He said it would also help me if I decide to put up a photography business one day. But he also made appa promise not to pressure me in joining the company if I don't want to. When hyung left, I felt like he abandoned me. I almost dropped out of school but Peniel hyung and Ilhoon hyung encouraged me to keep going. They said that's what Sungjin hyung would have wanted. When appa got sick, I had no choice but to take over. It was barely after my graduation from the university. I resented hyung then. It was supposed to be his responsibility, but it got dumped on me. I imagined us working together in the company one day. I thought he'll be the one to train me and show me the ropes. But that was not meant to happen," Sungjae told Joy.  "Do you still feel that way?" Joy asked him.  "No. After a while I realized I would have done the same if I were in his shoes. And I also came to enjoy what I'm doing now. I'm actually quite good at it," he said, smiling at Joy.  "From what I've heard, you're more than good," Joy said, returning his smile.  "It also turned out to be a blessing in disguise, because I got to meet the other hyung-deul when I took over. Sungjin hyung is an irreplaceable part of my life, but my hyung-deul has filled up at least a part of that empty space. And now, there's Jaejae," he said.  "I'm sure, Sungjin oppa is very proud of you," she added, raising her glass to him in salute.  Sungjae raised his own glass in response.  "I just wish he could have seen me graduate. I was kind of hoping he would come that day," Sungjae said.  "He did," Joy said.  "But I didn't see him," Sungjae told her.  "Wait here. I'll show you something," Joy said, going to Youngjae's room.  Sungjae got curious when Joy came back with a photo frame in her hand.  "When we moved in here, I wasn't sure if I should give this to you or not," Joy said, handing him the frame.  Sungjae felt his throat tighten when he saw the photo.  It was of him, wearing his graduation gown and was looking straight at the camera.  He remembered the exact moment this was taken.  He was searching the crowd for his hyung whom he thought has forgotten him, when a sixth sense told him to turn and look in that direction.  This photo proved that he was there to see him graduate, like he promised.  "When Sungjin oppa came home that night, he kept bragging to unnie and me how handsome you were in your toga. He's got many pictures of you that day, but that is his favorite. He placed that on the shelf along with the other family photos, but I would often see him pick it up and just stare at it. He really wanted to approach you that day. But he said he was afraid that he might not be able to let you go if he did," Joy told him with a shaky voice.  "Thank you for showing this to me, Sooyoung," Sungjae said in a voice thick with emotions.  Joy smiled sweetly at him, clearly understanding how he feels.  He didn't notice the single tear that fell from his eye until Joy wiped it off with her thumb.  Sungjae grasped Joy's hand in gratitude.  Lost in their own thoughts, they fell into a comfortable silence.

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CHARCUTERIE BOARD/PLATE