Jemily(Unexpected Love)

Keep Your Head Up

Emily POV

It's been a couple of days and the days were good but the nights were bad. In the day, I spent time with Melissa, talking, playing, drawing. Everything she loved to do, everything she wasn't allowed to do, everything that made her happy. We went to stores and decorated her room with her favorite color, purple. I bought her clothes, shoes, school supplies. I was enjoying doing all of this for her, I was probably more excited about her first day than she was. Melissa was getting more comfortable and I talked her into possibly seeing a therapist. I wanted her to talk through her trauma, I didn't want her to keep it locked up, it wouldn't be good for her if she did. She was opening up to me more and seemed to trust me when I told her everything would be fine.

At night I would tuck her in at night, kiss her on top of her head, kiss Hayley too because how could I forget, and then watch her while she slept for a while. But after that, after a great day, I would be lying in bed with my own thoughts. Thinking about JJ and how we ended over and over again. I looked at my phone waiting and hoping to get a text from her and I never got a thing. She was the last thing I thought about before I went to bed and the first thing I thought about when I woke up. I wanted her more than anything, but when I'd watch Melissa fall asleep at night, I realized she was everything to me. Part of me was glad JJ never asked me to choose between her and Melissa, but I still wanted to hate her. She didn't even try, she didn't even try to work this out. 

To tell the truth, it made me feel like our relationship didn't matter to her. Like she couldn't be there for me the way I have always been there for her. It made me feel like I didn't matter to her the way she mattered to me. She hadn't even tried to contact me which infuriated me even more. I hated myself even more for not having the guts to call her, I dialed her number maybe 100 times and froze every single time. Every text I tried to send, I drafted and deleted. I looked up to the ceiling and tried to get some sleep. Melissa and I were going to Sara's tomorrow and I wanted to try to enjoy myself.

JJ POV 

I was sitting in bed with a glass of wine in my hand. I was reviewing my case notes but kept getting distracted by my thoughts of Emily. We hadn't spoken since the night we broke up and it was killing me. I hadn't reached out because I thought she needed time to adjust to everything, and because she hadn't reached out to me I thought she was just busy. 

I was going stir crazy without her, I missed her so much. I missed seeing her at work, I missed her smile, I missed kissing her, I missed waking up with her. I felt horrible without Emily. I wanted to go see her, talk to her. I shook my head, this was getting ridiculous, I couldn't keep this up much longer. I was going to visit Emily tomorrow. 

Emily POV

When Melissa and I finished having breakfast I drove over to Sara's. She had texted me her address the day before. When we arrived Sara opened the door. "Hey, it's great to see you guys. Come on in."

We walked into her house and she introduced Kara to the two of us. I knew Melissa was still a bit hesitant but Kara seemed to be really friendly. They ended up running up to Kara's room to play with some dolls. 

"Coffee, tea, anything stronger?" Sara offered.

"Coffee would be great." I answered back. 

We sat down at the kitchen table and spoke for a while. I told her about my job and how I became Melissa's foster parent.

"That's amazing. It seems to have all worked out. Funny how life works. You two were brought together through such extraordinary circumstances and here you two are." 

"I feel like that too, I'm so lucky to have her." I took some sips of my coffee, "So is Kara your only child?"

"Mmhmm, my one and only. She's the light of my life, she's all I have."

"Is her dad in the picture?"

"I hope not," she laughed. "Sperm donor."

"Wow, that must have been one hell of an experience."

"No kidding, I've always wanted to be a mom. My ex didn't want kids, she was too focused on her career. I tried getting her to see what it meant for me but she didn't understand it. She said that she didn't have that same feeling I did. She would try to be supportive but it just seemed fake, like she was forcing herself to accompany me to doctor visits. She didn't seem to want to take part in the process. I had a miscarriage before having Kara and it almost killed me. My ex said that maybe it was the universes way of telling me it wasn't time, that hurt me even more. She didn't know how to be there for me. I went and got inseminated a couple of months after without telling her and she freaked out when my test came back positive. She would tell me not to get excited about Kara because I would probably lose her too. I broke it off with her, I didn't need her negativity in my life. I had Kara 9 months later and have been the happiest mother since."

"That's great! Was it hard for you, breaking it off with your ex?" I asked curiously.

"Absolutely. I mean, we had our fights and bad times but we had our good ones too. I loved her, really loved her. To find out that she didn't want the same things as me was hard to handle. But every day, feeling Kara growing inside of me, watching her grow up made it not feel so bad."

I nodded, I wish I could rush to that stage. I still felt like shit.

"Let me guess, you're in a similar predicament?" She asked.

"Something like that."

"Well, it does get better. I know that the saying time heals all wounds is very cliche but it is true. Just look at your beautiful girl and cherish what you have in front of you. Don't let your past play tricks on you by roping you back in."

"Easier said than done." I laughed. 

"That is very true, but from someone who has done it, all I can say is, live the life you want to live. If you think going back to your ex is the right thing, then it will work out. I truly believe that. But if you don't think it is the right thing, keep your head up and walk away."

"I know you're right, but it doesn't help that I work with her and I'm going back to work next week."

"Ooof, well, I can't give you any advice on that one. But I can offer you a glass of wine."

"I would love a glass of wine."

"Okay." She laughed and got up. Talking to Sara definitely helped get my mind straight. She and I had gone through similar experiences and it felt good talking to someone who knew a bit of what I was going through.

JJ POV 

I drove to Emily's place and looked in the mirror before going up. I knocked on her door and got no response. I didn't see her car anywhere and just assumed she was out with Melissa. I wanted to call her and see if we could meet up but I felt like maybe it was a sign not to contact her if she wasn't home. She started work again soon so maybe we could talk then. I walked back to my car and drove home.