Jemily(Unexpected Love)

Overcome

JJ POV 

I woke up completely exhausted. I had cried myself to sleep last night and my eyes were all puffy. I got up before Henry did and put some eye drops in my eyes and did my best to reduce the puffiness. Hotch had messaged me this morning to take some time and not come in. I was thankful that he offered because I would have asked for some time off anyway. 

I cancelled Henry's sitter and drove him to school and told him I'd be picking him up after. When I entered the house I felt complete emptiness, chills ran up my arms and I felt both relieved and scared to be alone. I sat down on the couch and put my face in my hands. Every time I closed my eyes, I was back there. Watching him use my gun to end his life, the sound of the trigger being pulled, the blood splattered everywhere. 

I felt this hollowness in my soul, if that made any sense. I didn't understand why this case was any different to any others. I had seen worse, I had pulled the trigger before and ended people's lives. Why was this the one that got to me. I didn't know how long I had been sitting here, time seemed to pass me by and I had no recollection of any of it. I just felt alone. 

Emily POV 

We all went to work the next day and finished our reports on the case from yesterday. JJ didn't come in, her desk was empty. Hotch had mentioned that he told her to talk some days, which didn't surprise me. What did surprise me was that she took it. JJ was a firecracker, she hated being given special treatment even if it was for her own good. I saw her in the parking lot looking alone and lost. 

Everyone seemed to have moved on. I guess they just saw it as any other case but it wasn't like that for her. She needed help, she needed support but it just seemed like no one was offering to give it to her. Maybe they thought she needed to be left alone, but I think loneliness is the last thing she needs. 

But it felt like I was the only one worrying about her. I went to go give Hotch my report and was about to head home when he stopped me.

"Emily, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, why?"

"You just seem, hostile."

I sighed and looked at him, "Why am I the only one that seems to care the JJ is not okay? It's like all of you moved on but haven't checked to see if she's coping."

"Everyone deals with things differently. We all know her and know that she needs time. We have all called her and she has said that she's okay. I know that this was a very difficult case for her, I'm not going to let her go back into the field without a proper debrief."

"That's not enough, she needs someone there."

"Are you deflecting?"

I didn't understand. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. You're going on and on about the things you think we aren't doing for her yet you haven't reached out or tried. We all have. Reid and Rossi called her. Penelope hasn't stopped messaging her, yet what we're doing isn't good enough. Is it possible you're angry at yourself for not being there for her?"

"You don't know what you're talking about." I walked out of his office not waiting for a response. I grabbed my things and left. I sat in my car thinking of what Hotch said not wanting him to be right. I took out my phone and made a call.

JJ POV 

I hadn't done a thing. I stayed sitting on that couch for hours. The only reason I remembered to pick Henry up was because I had an alarm set. When I picked him up I did my best to seem interested about his day. I scolded myself for being a horrible parent, I should be interested. He's my kid.