Mimi Turns Pretty - SOON TO BE PUBLISHED ✅

Chapter 33

Present Day

"I honestly can't remember how I made it home. Basta I was there in that room watching you make out with Steph and the next second I was in my room."

I've finished telling Ollie the story on why I've changed, on why after a good night at prom, I've suddenly stopped talking to him. I remember being so upset with him that I just pretended he's not around kahit na lagi siyang nasa bahay. Hindi rin siya nag-attempt na magpaliwanag after no'n, siguro nga dahil hindi niya naaalala or talaga lang wala siyang pakielam.

After a few days kinausap kami ni Kuya nila Mommy and Daddy at sinabi sa amin na we're going to leave papunta sa US right after our graduation because Daddy was offered a job there and ayaw nila kaming iwan sa Pilipinas.

I thought to myself, sakto na rin ang timing no'n because I won't have to keep avoiding Ollie. Tadhana na ang gumawa ng paraan para tuluyan ko na siyang makalimutan.

I can't look at him to see his reaction, so I've stared outside the car window this entire time.

Ollie doesn't say anything habang pinapatakbo niya ang kotse at bumyahe na kami pauwi.

Maganda na rin siguro 'to na hindi na siya mag-explain, I mean I know what I saw and if what I saw was wrong, he could just immediately say na mali 'yong nakita ko. I think he can't explain dahil hindi niya naalala, hindi niya alam na gano'n ang nangyari. I guess all this time I don't know what to expect when I finally talk to him about it, that happened years ago, he was drunk, and I was naïve – it's that simple.

But why am I still hurt?

Bakit 'nong kinukwento ko sa kanya, bumalik 'yong sakit, lahat ng feelings pati kung anong naramdaman ko when we kissed, it all came rushing back.

And now I'm stuck in this car with him, wala siyang masabi and I can't wait to get away from him again. Parang bumalik ako sa pagkabata, no matter how I've changed physically, I'm still that girl who fell in love with the wrong guy. And now I'm back to being the girl who runs away from everything.

After the ride that felt like it took forever, we get home, and before he even turns off the engine, I've already opened the door. Narinig ko siyang tinatawag ang pangalan ko but I'm too mad to pay him any attention. He had the whole car ride to talk to me and I open myself to him like he wanted – I told him everything, and what do I get in return? Nothing. Not even a lame sorry.

I slam my room door when I get inside.

I pull at my hair and sit on the floor.

God! How could I be so stupid?

Bakit pa ako nagsalita? Bakit ko pa sinabi sa kanya lahat ng 'yon? It's not like it would change anything, wala namang mababago.

I just made it worse, mukha akong kawawa sa istoryang 'yon. I never told that story to anyone. I had no one to tell it to. I couldn't tell Kuya about it dahil I'm sure kahit bestfriend niya si Ollie he would have done something, and it would have ended their friendship.

At kahit anong galit ko kay Ollie, I couldn't do that to my brother.

Gabi na ng makauwi kami but I had to make up an excuse not to eat dinner. Ayaw kong magkaroon ng pagkakataon si Ollie para makausap ako.

I stayed in my room and pretended to be asleep para hindi nila ako istorbohin. I told Mommy that I had a headache, so she will not worry.

After kong mag-pretend for a few hours, I really fell asleep.

I woke up to someone opening my door, sumilip ako sa orasan sa tabi ng kama ko and it's almost 1AM.

I had a feeling kung sino ang pumasok sa kwarto ko, but I continued to pretend I'm still asleep.

I immediately close my eyes when I see his shadow walk across the room.

Akala ko uupo siya sa kama ko or something pero nang sumilip ako he sits on the floor, nakasandal sa kama ko facing the open window.

I can only see the side profile of his face, but he looks wistful.

He starts to talk in almost like a whisper.

"I can't sleep, Mi."

I close my eyes and just listen to him talk.

"Nahihiya ako sa 'yo. That's why couldn't say anything earlier."

Huminga siya ng malalim.

"I'm used to talking to you when you're sleeping, I don't think you'd remember, but I used to do this a lot."

Tumawa siya nang marahan, "Siguro you'd think I'm a creeper, but I'm not. There's just some things that I want to say to you but I can't."

He sighs, "So I say the things I want to say when you're sleeping. I've done it a couple of times. It started with talking about simple things, like noong bata pa tayo and you would sleep sa kwarto ni Marky dahil gusto mong makitambay kasama namin, inuutusan ako ng Kuya mo na buhatin ka papunta sa kwarto mo, and I'd talk to you then. I would tell you na mag-ingat ka palagi kapag nasa school ka, I would see some girls bullying you. I would tell you to keep your chin up at 'wag ka magpapaapekto sa kanila."

"I get so pissed off kapag nakikita ko 'yon, but I knew na hindi kita dapat laging tinutulungan dahil kailangan mo'ng matutong lumaban on your own. I would watch you from afar just to see if you needed my help."

"And so, I would sometimes give you some advice at mga pangpalakas ng loob when you're sleeping. Ayaw ko rin na malaman mong I know that you're having a hard time. Ayaw kong mahiya ka sa amin. You're so lively and happy when you're with us, kaya alam kong you're handling it well. And I know rin that if you needed our help, you'd say something."

I didn't know he felt this way or that he would talk to me. I always knew he would help out kapag may problema ako but I didn't know na during those moments that I thought he was not noticing me, he was always there.

My heart aches.

"At yung one-sided conversations ko with you turned into some sort of way na rin para sa akin na makapagsalita freely, I would tell you about my problems kung mayroon man, kagaya noong nag-away ang parents ko, I would tell you because I couldn't tell Marky. Marky's a good friend but he has the perfect family, and we don't really like talking about heavy stuff. I had no one to talk to kaya minsan sa 'yo ko sinasabi."

I wish he'd just talked to me for real para nakatulong ako. I know lagi niyang sinasarili kapag may problema siya, but he didn't have to. We were always there for him, like a family would. Kung alam lang ni Kuya ang sinasabi ngayon ni Ollie he would be upset. He treated Ollie like a brother.

I peeked and I see Ollie lean his head back sa kama ko.

"I remember that car ride home from your prom, Mi. I remember a lot about that night, kahit hanggang ngayon, that's still one of the most memorable nights of my life."

Mine too. For good and bad reasons.

He pauses for a while and akala ko tapos na siya magsalita, but he continues, and I try not to react.

"You said earlier na you fell in love with me at prom, when we danced, and you realized that you've fallen in love with me."

I can feel the beating of my heart get quicker.

"I think I've always known how I felt about you, but I tried to deny it. I couldn't, wouldn't think anything of it because it felt like what I felt was wrong. But being with you that night, I got to pretend that you were just some girl I'm taking to prom, I got to pretend you're not my bestfriend's sister. I got to hold you and look at you the way I've always wanted to."

I shut my eyes tighter and bite the inside of my cheek.

"That night I let myself feel what I wanted to feel, kinalimutan ko muna lahat ng alinlangan ko about how I felt and just opened myself up to the feeling. And when I let myself feel, I knew there was no turning back for me."

"I knew I loved you then too."

***

A/N 10/29/2020:

Sakit na puso ko. 

Ano ba.