Everything I Didn't Say ✔

Ten

Sophia's POV

I bit my lip, not really knowing what to say next. I had been caught red handed with one of my biggest, and most upsetting secrets. At one point in my life, I had fallen in love with Ashton. There, out with it. I had fallen so desperately in love with him I was too blind to see how much he had corrupted me. I remember the day we met like yesterday, only it was the beginning of year nine, and we were instantly best friends.

*Flashback*

I tried so hard not to get people to notice me as I swiftly moved down the hallway to my first class. I knew just about all the kids in my grade, but nearly none of them knew me. I never talked much, and I didn't have many friends. I participated in class discussions only when I was forced. All the other kids knew me as the super shy and quiet girl with the Greenday T-shirt. Which wasn't the worst they could say. I could be the school slut, but luckily I couldn't even find myself a boyfriend. It was strange to see people at fifteen and sixteen claiming that they were "in love". I just don't see how you can love somebody when half the people my age don't love themselves.
Much to my dismay, I got caught in the sea of Seniors as they traveled in a huge mass down the hallway. I had no idea where I even was, so this was a total freaking mess. A large Indian boy bumps roughly into me, and I go flying into someone. They were strong enough to catch me by the waist, and the person was clearly male because he smells of Axe and mint.

"You okay?" I look up, and up and up. Jesus he was tall. His smile was lopsided and had dimples. The male's eyes were a vivid green, and his hair was fluffy and a light brown mess pushed up by a red and white bandana. He was sporting black doc martens, tight black skinny jeans, and a black and white Greenday shirt much like my own.

"I'm Ashton."

"Sophia." I shyly mutter, giving him a forced smile. He was very attractive. "I'm new. My bad."

"I'm a newbie too. We can walk to class together beautiful." Ashton winks at me, before motioning for me to follow him. I blushed slightly, but decided he was nice enough. Maybe this was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Little did I know that this silly and flirtatious boy that walked me to class everyday afterwards would be my biggest love, my biggest fear, my sunshine when the world was literally in the dark of the night.

*Flashback Over*

"No. I don't feel anything for Ashton. I never will." I told Calum confidently, but every word killed me to say.

Ashton's POV

"No I don't feel anything for Ashton. I never will." Every word that came out of her mouth crushed me. I thought I was going to have a nice chat with Cal, not be buttdialed whenever Sophia basically said I meant nothing to her. My fingers sifted through my hair, tugging hard at the roots.

I wanted to hang up, but I had to know what she was saying.

"Well what about Luke? You seem to get on well." Calum's voice was quiet as I mentally cursed the fuck out of him for bring up Luke. My attention was really caught now.

"He's so sweet and caring." And I had enough. I snapped and pushed the end button, angrily throwing my phone down against the couch. I was thankful my mum wasn't there to witness my total meltdown. I suddenly bursted into sad, angry tears, burying my face in my hands. I had no idea how I was going to survive for the next two months. It that how she really felt? I would've done anything for her back then. Hell, I would do anything for her now. I was completely unaware of what I had ever done to make her hate me so much. I fucking loved her. I had no idea what I felt for her now. It was clear to me she felt less than nothing for me. I felt like I was a fool, and she was messing with my head. I turned my head slightly, and through bloodshot eyes I caught sight of my favorite picture in the world. It was the middle of year eleven whenever Sophia and I had began to get serious. It was her and I, our faced so close together that if I would've moved we'd have kissed. I distinctly remember my mum taking that picture. I had no idea why she had kept it so long, but all it was doing was causing me pain. I don't know why I did it, but I did. At a sudden scream of total anger, I sweeped one arm across the bed side table, sending the picture frame at the wall. I heard a crashing sound as the glass shattered into a million pieces on the floor. I didn't mind walking right over it with my boots, flying through the door to the cellar where my mum kept her liquor. And I started drinking. Wishing I could never stop.