Everything I Didn't Say ✔

Thirty

Sophia's POV

The joy of Luke being alive was short lived. Because don't get me wrong, I love Ashton more than I have and ever will love anyone, but he's inevitably going to fuck up. I guess its hard for me to accept the fact that Ashton just isn't who I need him to be. Maybe he isn't who I want him to be either.

"Soph," it was running close to eight in the evening, and I was sitting at the end of Luke's hospital bed, talking and laughing with him about what happened while on tour with One Direction. Speaking of them, I'd meant to call Zayn and see how he was doing after he split from the band.

"Oh, hey Cal." I gave him a warm smile, and continued playing with Luke's hair. He had turned upside down, and had his head lying in my lap so I could massage his scalp. He apparently liked the way my nails felt.

"Can we have a little chat in the hallway, please?" He looked on extreme alert, and that was all I needed to know that something was definitely up. My eyes flickered to Luke, who pouted slightly before removing my head from his lap and winced as he sat up.

"Will you be okay by yourself?" I asked the blonde. He settled into a comfortable position as his face scrunched up in severe pain, and saw the way it relaxed as he exhaled. "I'll only be a few minutes."

"Yeah, of course." He nodded softly, and waved me out. I quickly walked into the hallway, and made sure to shut the door behind me. Calum was standing about a foot in front of me, tapping his foot and biting his lower lip. Something was definitely up.

"Sophia I need you to listen to me okay?" He put two hands on my shoulders. "I need you to calmly, and thoroughly promise not to punch me, because I'm innocent."

"Calum Thomas Hood." I hissed, whacking his arms away from me. "What the hell is going on?" I knew it had to be bad if Calum was freaking out about it.

"Ashton is in the waiting room right now and-"

"Oh okay, I'll go ring his neck now." I turned away and started to walk off.

"NO FUCK SHIT WAIT SOPHIA NO DON'T FUCKING FUCK-" I didn't know what the hell his problem was, that is, until I entered the waiting room. My eyes instantly fell on two people, and one of them was definitely not Ashton.

"Kylie?!" I yelped at the same time she shrieked, "Sophia?!"

"Oh no." I heard Calum mutter under his breath. Well, she definitely looked different than when I knew her. Of course, she was a Kardashian, or a Jenner rather. She had dyed her hair a very odd shade of minty green, and her lips were over lined and caked with maroon laquer. She looked more like her sister's than Kendall did, who was a very good friend of mine. Kendall, Gigi Hadid, and I have done well over ten photo shoots together, and we got on quite well. But Kylie and I, not so much. She wanted to skin me alive, for literally no reason.

"What the fuck Ash?" I spewed before I got the chance to stop myself. I could smell the tequila on him from here. He was fucking trashed, at 8 p.m. His hair was tangled together, and I could see faint lipstick stains leaking through the collar of his black shirt.

"You..." I took a step back as if he had just punched me. I looked at Kylie, and she was grinning from ear to ear. What the hell is wrong with her? "You were with her this whole time?" I was fucking crushed.

"So what?" He snapped back, flipping his hair out of his eyes. "Its no big deal." I could feel the tears burning my face as I turned my head away. I couldn't even bare to look at him. Suddenly, Calum stepped between the two of us, and boy did he look pissed. His face was bright red, and the vein in his forehead was pulsing.

"NO BIG DEAL!?" He screamed so fucking loud. Everyone around us went dead silent, and I flinched. I have never heard anyone yell that loud in my life. "NO BIG FUCKING DEAL ASHTON? YOU SMELL LIKE A LIQUOR STORE, AND YOU WERE FUCKING NOWHERE TO BE SEEN WHILE OUR MATE WAS IN A FUCKING CAR CRASH!"

"How about you shut the-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP ASHTON!" Calum roared right over him. "LISTEN UP MOTHERFUCKER, ITS MY TURN TO TALK! I DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCK WHO THE HELL YOU THINK YOU ARE OR WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE DOING WITH THIS TWAT-" he pointed at Kylie.

"Hey!" Kylie's annoying voice sneered.

"Shut the fuck up." I hissed, clenching my fists.

"YOU'RE FUCKING OUT OF CONTROL ASHTON! I'M FUCKING SICK OF YOU, LITERALLY EVERYONE IS SICK OF YOU! YOU'RE A PATHETIC PIECE OF SHIT FOR DOING THIS TO SOPHIA, AND FOR ABANDONING YOUR FRIENDS!" He was getting a little carried away, but I was dead silent. I didn't dare to intervene.

"DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING CONSIDER YOURSELF MY FRIEND EVER AGAIN! WE'RE BANDMATES, AND NOTHING FUCKING MORE! DON'T FUCKING LOOK AT ME, TALK TO ME, OR EVEN BREATHE NEAR ME! THAT GOES FOR ALL OF US! I FUCKING HATE YOU! SO JUST GO BACK TO THE DAMN VODKA BOTTLE YOU CRAWLED OUT OF AND GET OUT OF MY FUCKING SIGHT!" Calum had unintendedly leaned into Ashton's face, and he backed away, his face flushed and with his jaw clenched. I'm sure Ashton expected me to stick up for him, but I was done sticking up for someone who didn't deserve it.

"Just," Calum's voice had considerably lowered, and it had literally no emotion behind it. His face was blank, and he just looked so done with Ashton. I could say I felt the same. "Just stay away from me Ashton. I mean it." And then he just walked away. I looked at Ashton, and he was staring blankly into space with his eyes wide and his jaw opened. I'd like to think I know Calum very well, and of all of the people I knew, he was definitely the most terrifying while angry.

I was just staring down at Ashton, trying to ignore the way Kylie had her hand on his knee. Clearly, he didn't care if I saw because he made no effort to stop her. And I realized that he never really cared at all. That whole "I still love you" and "I'm sorry" thing was complete bullshit. And I felt like a complete fucking moron for believing in it.
"Sophia," he exhaled, his voice strained and whiny.

"No." I managed to spit out. "Please, just don't." My lips curled and trembled, as I struggled to remain in control.

"Soph you don't understand-" he stood up, and I promptly took a huge step back.

"Stop." I squealed a little, and my voice cracked. "Don't..." I looked at Kylie who looked rather pleased with herself, and the mess that was Ashton Irwin.

"Don't you ever think that you can shove me around and play me." He tried to get a word in, but I spoke quicker. "Don't you ever try to speak to me ever again. Because as far as I'm aware, you're now nonexistent. I'm your opening act, and you're the main show. You're the disgusting, twisted, lying and cheating drummer." I didn't know what I was saying, or why I was saying it. I was just so done.

"Fame really did change you Ash." My voice was turning into a whimper, and I could see the hope draining from his green eyes. "I hope you get everything you deserve. Take that however you want. Because as of now, I'm done with you."

Surprisingly, I didn't start crying, and I didn't feel any regret as I walked straight through the hospital doors, and out into the sunshine.

End