Everything I Didn't Say ✔

Sixteen

Sophia's POV

Jesus fuck this guy was firing questions. Most of them were aimed at me, and Luke. I was praying, that they wouldn't talk about dating drama, because I didn't want Ashton to go pulling out his shit. I could feel both the interviewers, and Ashton's stare firing a hole in my head.

"So here's the last question. One that the fans have been dying to know." Oh that doesn't sound so bad.

"What, is this?" I heard a gasp go around the crowd, and even through the boys. I had not a clue at what happened. Until the interviewer gestured to the screen behind us. And there it was, plain as day. Fuck me.

It was definitely me, and Ashton kissing back in the dressing rooms. You could tell who it was by the bodies. I could feel my own face go as pale as a ghost as I looked at the picture. Jesus these people work fast. I was completely fucked. I could see how Luke's eyebrows were knitted together as he frowned at the picture.

"Any thoughts Miss Noelle? Ashton?" I felt like murdering both Ashton and him in the spot.

"Thats not Ashton." I breathed out, trying to sound as relaxed as I could.

"It sure looks-"

"I just said it wasn't Ashton." I snapped, and I heard a whispering go through the crowd.

"This interview is over." I guess they agreed too, because the buzzer went off, and I practically sprinted backstage. Mina was waiting there, looking totally pissed at me. I grabbed the clip on mic off my shirt, and angrily throw it at the tech guy.

I knew the boys had followed me, but I honestly didn't care.

"What was that Sophia? That was clearly you and Ashton!" Mina shrieked, and I ignored her, waking to the backstage exit.

"Where do you think you're going?"

I ignored her as I spotted the back exit, and typed furiously on my phone, telling Mitch to bring the car around. I just wanted to go see my family before I had to leave, and before I murdered somebody. I had to get out of here. I pushed the door open, and stepped out into the warm Australia afternoon.

I felt completely sick to my stomach. I knew the press were going to run wild, and the hate would be enormous. I wanted to cry, but I wanted to hit something at the same time. So I did. I bashed the wall right next to me with an angry fist. I flinched afterwards, a groan escaping my lips. I didn't know if it was because it hurt, or if it was because I did it. I was slipping back into my old ways. Whenever Ashton left, I nearly killed myself off. I drank constantly to forget Ashton, I cut and burned, I cried a lot, and I hit and threw things. That's exactly the route I was going. I didn't know why Ashton was having impact on me. I should be over it by now. But I wasn't. Ashton would always weasel his way back in. I don't think you ever stop loving someone. You just stop trying. I stopped trying to be strong and pull through. I never stopped loving Ashton. Even if he was ruining me all over again.

My phone vibrated in my pocket, with shaky and bloody hands I picked it up, and saw seven texts from Luke, three from both Mikey and Cal, and just one voicemail from Ashton. I wondered why he didn't just text me. My finger hovered over the delete button, but I fucked myself over by pressing on continue. I put it on speaker, and slowly closed my eyes as I heard his voice.

"Hey Soph, It's Ash." I could hear the softness of his voice as he sniffled. He was crying.

"I don't exactly know why you hate me. but I have to let you know something. I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry for hurting you, and all I want is for you to be happy. And I'm the reason you aren't. So I'm sorry. I don't think this will change anything, but if it counts, I love you. I may not be in love with you right now, but I do love you. I told you that I would always find my way back to you Sophia Grace. I promised you that I would love you forever, and that promise hasn't been broken that's for damned sure. Please, just know that you are the most real, talented, and beautiful person I've ever known. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness. Hell, I don't deserve for you to even acknowledge me. But I'm always going to be here for you. I'm always yours, even if I'm too oblivious to realize it. Bye." I stood up from my position against the wall, and ran my hands over my face before I sent Luke a quick text telling him I was okay, and sighed whenever I looked at the voicemail notification. Then I closed my eyes, and clicked "delete".

Happy #EverAfterFriday

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Aria's out