Cheating ShinsouxReader (Completed)

Chapter 33

"Did you even think about me? About what that would do to me?!" My throat started to sting from trying to keep my voice down and he shook his head. God, I wanted to scream at him so bad. My voice went up an octave trying to keep the volume the same which ended up hurting my vocal cords. I cleared my throat but that didn't make it any better.

"No ... we were selfish. Firefly ... please, I can't stand to see you so hurt. I know

it's wrong of me to say that. But I need to make things right," Kaminari's voice was raw and I could feel how much disdain and regret he has. He's a broken record at this point ... he's been repeated himself for months. He says he can't stand to see me so hurt, but he's the one who did this to me. My conflicted heart was breaking all over again. I know I shouldn't, he doesn't deserve it but I need to put myself in his shoes. I was blinded by my own pain to realize that he's been suffering too. I mean just look at him ... his face is thinner ... those adorable round cheeks of his were a bit sunken. Kaminari's skin was paler, and his eyes were a bit sunken as if he hasn't gotten any sleep in weeks. Seeing him like this ... really hurts. He deserves to suffer as much as I have but ... I think he's suffered enough. Just like I have ... we need to get over this hurdle and get ourselves back. Right now, at this very moment, I don't care what happened. I'm focusing on what I see in front of me and that's someone who's clearly in pain.

In a moment of weakness and self-indulgence, I gently let go of his hands and let out a sigh as I gently brushed away the tears that fell from his eyes. Shocked, his eyes widened but he didn't pull away from me.

"You can't ..." my voice was barely audible as I placed a hand on his cheek. Kaminari leaned into my hand and he seemed to have officially broken. His sobs got louder as if the weight of his choices finally crashed down on his shoulders.

"Something like this ... is almost impossible to come back from. Maybe one day we can be friends again but for now ... I can't," I spoke as softly as possible. I hate this. I hate seeing him in so much pain. Regardless of what he put me through ... no one deserves to feel so broken, so empty. Especially someone as goofy and bubbly as Kaminari. He was literally my ray of sunshine and now ... there's nothing warm about him. I continued to brush away his tears, but it wasn't enough.

I sighed, "Come here," I gave in my heart and opened my arms.

"H-huh?" Kaminari sniffled as he looked up at me with confusion.

"Hurry up, I'm not gonna repeat myself," I smirked slightly and he didn't hesitate as he threw himself at me. I almost fell over but I hugged him back tightly. He cried into my shoulder and his entire body trembled. I missed his embrace ... I missed him. I hugged him just as tight as he hugged me and I nuzzled my face in his shoulder.

"You'll be okay. I know you will be. You're a strong person, Kaminari ... and you have Shinsou supporting you now," I said with a slight smile. I didn't intend to say that but it just felt right. I felt something click into place and I knew that I'd be okay. Kaminari needs Shinsou ... and Shinsou needs Kaminari. Right now that thought doesn't upset me. I pulled away after a few moments and held his face with my hands.

"Give me some time, okay? Let me heal from this ... and when I'm ready, I'll decide if I want to start over. We're still classmates, so I know I can't avoid you forever," I tried to sound positive for his sake and he managed to calm down. His sobs quieted down and I hugged him again. I rubbed his back as he continued to cry on my shoulder. I soothed him as best as I could while also consoling myself. I mean, this is all for the best. This ... this is the closure I needed. I think he needed this more than I did.

"Listen to me ... I will always love you, okay? Despite everything .... Despite the mistakes you made, the love I have for you is forever," I spoke softly in his ear. I meant every word too. I know I'm too soft for my own good, but I can't help it. When it comes to Denki Kaminari, we have too many good memories ... the soft spot I have for him is too big for me to just abandon him when he's clearly hurting. And besides ... he's had to go through this basically all by himself. Everyone turned their back on him. Meanwhile, I had everyone's support. Knowing that I can't let him go just yet.

"I'm so sorry ... I don't deserve you," he cried, "I should have told you ..." Kaminari repeated over and over again. I held him tighter to me and ran my fingers through his yellow hair.

"You really should have ... but don't worry about that now. It's in the past and we have to move on, okay?" I held the back of his head and tried to sound at least a little positive for his sake. At the end of the day, we're just kids. We're going to make mistakes, some worse than others but the important thing is that we learn from them. I have a pretty big feeling Kaminari and Shinsou will never forget about this. I know for a fact I never will.