Cheating ShinsouxReader (Completed)

Chapter 34

"Could you ever forgive me?" Kaminari's voice was hoarse and soft, pain laced through his words and I felt my bottom lip start to quiver.

"I don't know ... Denki, I don't know," I kept it honest and his body seemed to go limp in my arms. I felt his pain as if it was my own and I wanted nothing more than just to take it all away. The pain I was in was intense and overwhelming but It's been lessening over time. With the help of my friends, the hurt started to melt away. But Kaminari ... I don't think his pain ever lightened.

"Y/N ...."

"Shh, you'll be okay," I cooed, leaning my head against his that was still on my shoulder. Kaminari moved his arms that were around my shoulders, down to my waist and I shifted back further in the bed to make us more comfortable.

"Denki, I-" a voice I didn't expect to hear anytime soon filled the room and when I turned my head towards the door, I saw Shinsou standing dumbfounded in the doorway. Oh shit. Oh no, I did NOT sign up for this. The second I laid eyes on him my body froze for a moment and I forgot how to breathe. Wait, when did he get here?! I didn't even notice the door open and shut ..... Why now? Couldn't he have waited until I left to just randomly appear? I wasn't mentally prepared for this ... I can't help but feel punked .. bamboozled ....

"Come in and close the door," Kaminari spoke to him but he didn't let me go. Of course, he invited him in. Now, what am I supposed to do? I can't just pretend he isn't there. Fuck. Now he's going to want to talk to me and explain himself and I genuinely don't want to hear it right now.

"Kitty ..." Shinsou whispered as he closed the door and cautiously walked toward me. My heart caught in my throat and I forced myself to take a deep breath. I felt a bit uncomfortable having Kaminari latched onto my body with Shinsou just staring at me.

"H-hey ..." I greeted awkwardly. Now what? I tried to pull away from Kaminari but he tightened his hold on me.

"No ... not yet. Please ..." He pleaded in my ear and I let out a sigh. He sounded a bit panicked when he felt my arms loosen around him.

"Fine, fine," I gave up and continued to hold him, stroking his hair soothingly. I felt a small smile play on my lips as I continued to soothe my dull ray of sunshine. However, Shinsou was just there, watching from the desk, unsure of what to do, or what to say. He was caught just as off guard as I was.

"Are you ... doing okay?" I asked Shinsou hesitantly. He looked so stunned that I was looking at him, let alone actually talking to him.

He blinked a few times before scratching the back of his neck, "I should be asking you that," he replied.

"I'm surprisingly okay ... I'm uh ... trying to move on," I shrugged a little as I continued to hold Kaminari.

"I know you're sick of hearing this, but I'm sorry. I'm so truly sorry," Shinsou's voice cracked and I shook my head refusing to hear anymore.

"No. Absolutely not. I can only deal with one crying person at a time and right now it's his turn," I gestured to Kaminari who continued to hold me and Shinsou smiled a little. There was a relief in his eyes when he saw my attempt at lightening the atmosphere in the room.

"Fair enough," Shinsou took a deep breath, "So ... when's my turn?" He asked lightly.

"I don't know ... but I will say this. I don't hate you. I never have and I never will. Despite everything... despite all the hurt ... I still love you ... Kaminari too," I started to choke up but I refused to cry anymore. At the sound of my voice cracking, Kaminari snuggled closer to me and held me tighter.

"Don't cry ..." he whispered against my neck.

"W-what can I do to fix this?" Shinsou stood up from the chair and sat down right beside me on the bed. He put a hand on my back carefully and gauged my reaction. His familiar touch sent my heart and mind into a spiral. Damn, I really missed them.

"Like I told Kaminari .... You can't. This isn't something you 'fix'. All I ask is to just give me some space. I need time to recover and move on," I met his lavender eyes that were full of emotion. Shinsou wasn't looking that good either. Like Kaminari, his cheeks were a little sunken and his already pale face was even paler ...

"Okay ... I can do that ..." Shinsou started to rub Kaminari's back with his free hand and Kaminari finally loosened his grip around my body. While he didn't let go of me, he shifted his body so he was able to look at Shinsou.

"Everything will work out in the end, so no more tears okay?" I managed to pry Kaminari off me and gently touched the outer corners of his eyes that were heavily irritated.

"O-okay," Kaminari nodded as he rubbed his eyes, further irritating them.

"You guys need to move on too. Focus on each other and just be happy. Don't worry about me," I smiled slightly as I looked at both of them. Even though my heart was still broken, I meant what I said. It would be such a waste if they went through all of this trouble to be together just to break apart. The love they have isn't superficial ... and I can honestly say that I think it's great Kaminari found someone he can truly love this much. Even if it was at the expense of our relationship. Thinking about it with a clear head and a much lighter conscience, I can admit that Shinsou and I just weren't meant to be. And that's okay. Everything happens for a reason and I just have to only look at the positive side.

They were speechless at my words and I took a deep breath, "For fucks sake you two are lucky I'm so nice. You guys wouldn't be alive if I had Bakugou's temper," I decided to cover up my pain with humor and Kaminari finally smiled. It wasn't his signature smile, but it was something. Seeing him smile, even the tiniest bit, made this all feel worth it in some way.

"Listen to me, Kaminari," I held his hands and looked him in the eyes, "Shinsou won't admit it but he has pretty bad nightmares sometimes which is why he doesn't sleep well and is always tired," I felt my lip start to quiver and I looked away as I bit my cheek, "He also has a pretty bad sweet tooth, so surprise him with sweets now and then ... it's the little things that always make him smile."

"Y/N ...." Shinsou's voice was quiet and strained as if he was holding back tears and I felt myself start to break again.

"Take care of him. He really is an amazing man," I tried so hard not to break but I couldn't hold back anymore. My vision blurred and I had no time to push the tears back. Hot streams rolled down my cheeks and I felt a bit bashful crying in front of them.

"Fuck .. I tried so hard not to cry," I let out a chuckle as I wiped away my tears and felt a gentle hand on the back of my head. I couldn't look at him, but I know Shinsou was trying to comfort me.

"We ... we'll talk another time. I can only handle one emotional breakdown a day and I already reached my quota," I pulled myself together and stood up from the bed. I need to process this in my room ... this was a lot.

"Wait!" Kaminari called out to me as I started to walk away and before I knew what he was doing, he pulled me into an embrace again. He held the back of my head close to his chest as his other arm was wrapped tightly around my shoulders.

"Have you always been this clingy?" I complained a little as I hugged him back. I couldn't see it, but I felt him smile again.

"Yeah ... you just never noticed," there was a lightness in his voice that wasn't there before and I felt relieved knowing that from this point forward, he can start recovering as well.

"Are you feeling better?" I asked softly as I pulled away to meet his honey gaze.

He nodded, "Yeah ... are you?"

I smiled up at him and reached my hand up to lightly touch his cheekbone with my index finger, "I'll be okay."

Pulling away from Kaminari, I looked at the both of them, "I'll uh ... see you guys later," I waved awkwardly at them before I left and ran back to my room feeling strange.