Florida: It's muggy out day.
DC: I swear if I look outside and all our mugs are in the lawn I will kill you.
Georgia: *sadly sips coffee from a bowl*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Georgia, holding up a minion plushie: I won this ugly yellow toddler. Which is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Florida: I scared them, didn't I?
DC: They're terrified of you.
Florida: That makes me so happy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
California: You're smiling did something good happen?
Florida: I can't smile just because I feel like it?
Louisiana: DC tripped and fell down the stairs earlier.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
New York: Hello people who do not live here.
Massachusetts: Hey.
Pennsylvania: Hi.
Maryland: Hello.
Connecticut: Hey.
New York: I gave you the key for emergencies!
Massachusetts: We were out of Doritos.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Massachusetts: I could kill you if I wanted to, Yorkie.
New York: So could anyone else.
Massachusetts:
New York: So could a dog.
Massachusetts:
New York: So could a dedicated duck.
Massachusetts:
New York: You're not special, Massachusetts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
DC: Any more to say?
Florida: If I cut off my leg and swing it at your head...
Florida: Am I hitting you or kicking you?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
New Jersey: Sometimes Rhode Island talks in his sleep, it's adorable.
Rhode Island, asleep: Fight me... You motherfucker... Square up... I think the fuck not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
DC: *Answering the phone* Hello?
Florida: It's Florida.
DC: What did he do now?
Florida: No it's me, Florida, it's actually me.
DC: What did you do now?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
DC: when I said "bring me back something from the beach" I meant a sea shell.
Florida: *struggling to hold a seagull* well you didn't fucking say that!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Florida: Hey, do you think I could fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth?
California: You're a hazard to society
Texas: And a coward. Do twenty.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DC: *banging on the door* Florida open up.
Florida: Well, it all started when my dad left me...
California: No, he meant-
Louisiana: Let him finish.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Massachusetts: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE!
Massachusetts: *aggressively throws water bottles*
Florida: Uh...
New York: He's trying to yell mental health and well-being into us.
Massachusetts: I FUCKING APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU LITTLE SHITS!
California: *crying* It's working
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Florida: *looking out the window smirking*
California: Whatcha looking at? Pretty girl?
Florida: No.
California: Pretty boy?
Florida: No.
Louisiana: He set a golf course on fire to see what would burn.
Florida: Everything is ablaze.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DC: *screaming* IIIIIIIIIIIII FIXED IT
Utah: What did you fix?
DC: EVERYTHING!
*loud explosion in the background*
DC: ... Except that.
YOU ARE READING
Ben Brainard State Headcanons, One-shots, and more
FanfictionI do ships, I have another book that is just x reader. For you Ben Brainard Fans. Enjoy! Feel free to request
