DC: Florida has 19 chimichangas and he gives-
Louisiana: Wait why does Florida have so many chimichangas?
Florida: Mind yo business, Loui!
~~~~~~~~~~
Florida: Hello my name is Bean.
Florida: Bean Boy to be exact.
Florida: *throws cans of beans*
Florida:
Florida: Wait for it...
Florida:
Georgia: WHO THE FUCK JUST THREW A CAN OF BEANS INTO MY FORT?!
Florida: Haha Bean Boy has struck again! *flips blanket cape and runs into a wall*
~~~~~~~~~~
Florida: *points at a raccoon* Hey, DC, look at that cute cat!
DC: OH MY GOD NO THAT'S NOT A CAT!
Florida: (〃^ω^〃)
DC, speaking softly: Okay but don't touch it...
Florida: *the raccoon already in his arms* K I T T Y
DC: What the FU-
~~~~~~~~~
New York: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.
Maryland FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!
New York: No! Four TO five seconds!
Maryland: Too late!
~~~~~~~~~~
California: *chilling on the couch in leggings, a t shirt, and flip flops*
Texas: Why are you wearing leggings.
California: I was making a tiktok to prove to men that women only wear leggings because they're comfortable, not to make their asses look better.
Texas: And?
California: I was right. I'm never wearing normal pants again.
California: *stands up* Anyways do this pants make my ass look good?
~~~~~~~~~~
California: You call it a "near death accident" I call it a vibe check from God.
Gov: What did the doctor call it?
California: Irreparable cranial damage.
~~~~~~~~~~
California: Babe, do the thing.
Texas: *flexes*
California, breathless: Oh my God...
~~~~~~~~~~
Nevada: I really do love working here, it's just- we all have a lot of laughs.
Nevada: Fuck off, Utah, I'm not going to your fucking baby shower.
~~~~~~~~~~
North Dakota: Dad there's a monster under may bed! It's the most hideous thing I've ever seen!
South Dakota, on the bottom bunk: Why do you hate me, brother?
~~~~~~~~~~
Massachusetts: Aren't you sugar and spice and everything nice.
Maryland: Well, aren't you rudeness and sarcasm and everything... uh...
Massachusetts: No, go on. You find something that rhymes with sarcasm and makes sense, and I'll take the fall tonight.
~~~~~~~~~~
New York: I do not have emotions.
Narrator: He did, in fact, have emotions.
Massachusetts: Yeah, well, I hate you all.
Narrator: He did not, in fact, hate anyone.
Florida: Okay, guys, I have a great plan.
Narrator: He did not, in fact, have a great plan.
Gov: ...Ben, will you please get off the intercom?
Ben: He would not, in fact, get off the intercom.
~~~~~~~~~~
Texas: Will you be the yee to my haw?
Oklahoma: I am begging you to stop.
~~~~~~~~~~
Hawaii: I can't believe I'm single on Valentine's Day.
Alaska: Well, you know what they say. Roses are red, violets are blue...
Hawaii: Don't.
Alaska, holding up a bottle: Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.
~~~~~~~~~~
Massachusetts, brushing his teeth over Maryland's kitchen sink: Good morning.
Maryland: When did you get here?
Massachusetts: I spent the night.
Maryland: But I remember you leaving before I went to bed. You said, "good night, I'm going home" and then you left.
Massachusetts: Yeah, but then, on my way out, I tripped and fell down the stairs.
Maryland: Oh my god, were you hurt?
Massachusetts: Nah, I just didn't feel like getting up, so I slept on the floor.
YOU ARE READING
Ben Brainard State Headcanons, One-shots, and more
FanficI do ships, I have another book that is just x reader. For you Ben Brainard Fans. Enjoy! Feel free to request
