Florida: Hey, Nevada, what's your body count?
Nevada: I don't know, like 30.
Florida: Damn you a hoe.
Nevada: Oh you meant people I've sleep with? Still like 30.
Florida: Wait what did you mean the first time?
Nevada:
Florida: What did you mean!?
~~~~~~~~~~
Washington: Last time I saw you, you were trying to kill everybody. Where are at these days.
Nevada: It varies from moment
~~~~~~~~~~
Florida, to DC: It's not that don't love our little I just don't love them.
~~~~~~~~~~
Texas, Louisiana, and Florida to Georgia: You are my dad! You're my dad! Boogie woogie woogie!
~~~~~~~~~~
California: [playing Sail on a keyboard]
Washington: [hits the keyboard] SAIL
~~~~~~~~~~
California: Is that water in your cereal?
Alaska: No, it's vodka.
DC: Excuse me?
Alaska: It's vodka.
DC: It's nine in the morning!
Alaska: So?
DC: Isn't a bit early for vodka.
Alaska: It's never to early for vodka when Texas and Florida are a around.
DC: Good point.
~~~~~~~~~~
Cali: Hey can I have a sip of that water?
Alaska: It's not water.
Cali: Vodka! I like your style!
Alaska: It's vinegar.
Cali: What?
Alaska: It's vinegar, pussy.
~~~~~~~~~~
DC: I need to talk to Illinois.
Florida: Yeah I don't actually know how to call him.
Me: I do.
DC: Who are you?
Me: Doesn't matter. I'm just here to help.
DC:...Ok...
Me: 549 5326!
Illinois, appearing: That's Quatro's Deep Pan Pizza!
If you're not from Southern Illinois you're not going to understand that. Just Google Quatro's Deep Pan Pizza jingle.
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Ben Brainard State Headcanons, One-shots, and more
FanfictionI do ships, I have another book that is just x reader. For you Ben Brainard Fans. Enjoy! Feel free to request