Ben Brainard State Headcanons, One-shots, and more

Relapse ~ Yorkcali

TW: Self harm

"Where's California?" Gov asks. All of the states are there except Hawaii (obviously) and California.

"I don't know," Florida responds, then turns to New York. "New York, do you know where he is?"

"No," New York answers sharply. "How am I supposed to know where he is?"

"Uh… he's your boyfriend," Florida replies.

"So?" New York asks, "I don't hover over him."

"Florida, can you call him?" Gov asks the Sunshine State.

Florida cups his hands around his mouth, "Hey, Cali!" He shouts.

California appears at the table in his usual spot with his arms on the table and his head resting in them. He is crying but he is shaking very subtly so no one notices. No one except New York, he picks up on it immediately.

New York hates pda of any sort, it makes him uncomfortable, but he hates seeing California cry even more. Even though he hates the thought of letting other people see his soft side, all of those thoughts are thrown out of the window when California is crying. New York moves his chair closer to California's. He rubs California's back and moves so that his forehead is nearly touching California's temple. California moves his head just enough for New York to see half of his face, to see his tear stained cheeks.

"Hey, Cals, are you okay?" New York asks, his normally gruff, sarcastic voice is now soft and sincere. California shakes his head. "What's wrong, B?"

"I don't want to talk about it right now," California whispers just loud enough for New York to hear.

"Okay," New York whispers back. He places a soft kiss on California's cheek, "Do you wanna sit on my lap?" New York asks. California nods. "Come here," New York pats his lap.

California moves to sit on New York's lap, he buries his face into his boyfriend's neck. California slips his hand into New York's beanie to tangle his fingers in the state's hair. New York rubs California's side from under his arm down to his knee and back. He does this for a while. He kisses the Golden State's forehead.

It wasn't until Texas clears his throat that New York realizes that the whole room is silent and staring at him and California. "The fuck are you looking at?!" New York hisses. Everyone looks away and continues their previous conversations.

After the meeting is finally over, New York takes California to his apartment in Albany. He leads him to his bedroom, when they both got there New York lets go of California's hand and goes to his closet and grabs his gray 'New York' sweatshirt that California aways likes to steal when he's at New York's apartment, and a pair of black sweatpants. He throws both of them on his bed and walks over to California.

New York tries to help California take his flannel off but California stops him. "I'm okay. I don't want to change."

"What?" New York asks, confusion laced in his voice. "But, Cals, you love wearing my clothes."

California looks down at the floor in embarrassment, tears filling his eyes again. New York immediately knows what happened.

"Cals…" New York trails off. He pulls California's flannel off of him, letting it drop to the floor, revealing his self harm scars, both of his forearms are covered in them. California has a bandage wrapped around part of his right forearm, new cuts. "California, you promised to stop." New York chokes out.

"Are you mad at me?" California asks, his voice is shaky and his bottom lip is quivering.

"No, I'm not mad at you," New York pulls California into his arms, letting him cry into his chest.

"I'm sorry," California sobs. "I was doing so well. I'm sorry I relapsed."

"It's okay," New York whispers, "You're gonna be okay." He pulls away from the embrace and kisses California's forehead. "I love you, Cals, you know that right? I love you so much."

"I love you, too, bubs," California responds. He leans forwards, pressing his lips to New York's. Their kiss is soft and slow as their lips move perfectly in sync, fitting flawlessly together, like they are meant to be like that forever. If it were up to either of them they would stay like this forever. New York is the first to pull away, he presses his forehead to California's. They stay like that, in each other's arms with their foreheads pressed together for another seven minutes.

New York pulls away, he grabs the hem of California's shirt, pulls it over his head, and drops it onto the floor with his flannel. New York grabs his sweatshirt off of his bed and helps California put it on. New York moves to California's jeans, he unbuttons and unzips them, he lets California take them off himself while he grabs the sweatpants off of the bed and hands them to California.

California puts the sweatpants on then New York grabs his hand, leading California to his bed. California crawls under the blankets and New York follows. California cuddles into New York's side.