A Soul's Past and Future

Outburst

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story. Everything in here belongs to Marvel. Any OC added will be made known that they are mine. Other than that it belongs to Marvel.

Chapter 35: Outburst

"Kid?" Happy walked into the lab. It had been a couple hours since Clint came in and Peter hadn't left his spot. "You know, Pepper won't be too happy knowing you stayed up and now skipping lunch."

Peter hummed but didn't turn around to face one of his mentor's closest friend. Happy frowned. He stayed at the door to the lab and watched Peter. He couldn't help but see how much Peter looked like Tony. Peter turned, a hologram web-shooter around his arm. He noticed Happy watching him.

"Uh, Happy. Hey. W-what are you doing here?" Peter asked, finally noticing the new visitor.

"Pepper told me what happened this morning and when Tony walked in, we knew something was off. I asked FRIDAY where you were and she said you were in here." Happy said. 

"Right. Well as you can see, I'm fine." 

"Uh huh, tell me, what did they say this time?"

"It's not them, it's me. I've messed up so badly." Peter told him and put down the hologram. 

"You didn't mess up anything."

"Yes, I did! I grew greedy and I didn't even think of the consequences of what would happen if I used the stone to bring them back! Now, Hydra's back and they're going to hurt my friends and family and probably the rest of the world." Peter yelled. He then recoiled. "Shit. Sorry, I'm sorry. I shouldn't shout. He made a mistake thinking I could be a hero."

"Tony's my best friend and he's a mess. He always second-guessed himself and everything he did. To sum it up, he was all over the place. But you, you are the one thing Tony didn't second-guess. He didn't hesitate choosing you." Happy told Peter. "Now, your friends are in trouble. There's a threat to the lives of those you care for. What are you going to do about it?"

Peter looked down at the suit he was making. He swallowed a lump in his throat.

"I- I... I don't know."

Happy placed a hand on Peter's shoulder. "You do. You will know."

"How are you so sure?" 

"Because you always know."

~~~~~

Peter hadn't left the lab all day. Not once. People have tried to go in but Peter had Karen lock the doors (and vents). Yes, he installed Karen in. FRIDAY couldn't unlock them when they asked her too, either. 

After Happy left, the voices in his head were going back and forth. Peter had a sensory overload and a small panic attack. He had muted Karen and FRIDAY, neither were unable to get people to check on him. 

Peter felt as if there was a chain with a weight pulling him down. The weight getting heavier and heavier every single day. And that he was reaching rock bottom.

'You're leading them to their deaths! This is all your fault!'

'You're just a burden and the cause of all their problems!'

'All those compliments and nice things they're doing. It's all pity.'

'If it was all pity, why are they so willing to help you with this?'

"Peter?" FRIDAY's voice came through. "Boss is requesting your presence for dinner."

Peter thought about skipping. He really didn't want to face anyone. He felt like a child. A child that threw a tantrum when they didn't get their way.

"Tell him I'm coming." Peter thought for a moment before entering the vent. He made it to the dining room and conveniently his spot was right underneath the vent. He opened the vent and dropped down. Scaring the crap out of the people at the table.

"Kid!? What the fu-" Sam started.

"Sam! Language!" Steve scolded. Sam rolled his eyes. 

"Whatever."

Bucky looked Peter over. "Hey kid, you alright?"

Suddenly, Tony walked into the room. "Hey, kid. Mind telling me why both Karen and FRIDAY are unable to reach you in here? Also, when did you install Karen? I thought-" Tony stopped when he got a good look at Peter. He seemed to be hunched over and in his own little world. "Peter?"

Peter straightened up. "Mr. Stark?"

Surprised that he called him Mr. Stark. "Hey, I thought we were on calling me 'Tony' stage now?" Tony tried to joke.

"I- oh, sorry."

Tony frowned. Sighing, Tony started the conversation he should have had earlier. "Hey, Pete. About earlier-"

"Tony, maybe not right now." Steve tried to stop him. 

Tony, however, didn't listen. "I know I can't stop you from going but-"

"I know." Peter interrupted, catching them off guard. "I get it. I do, but I owe it to them, I owe it to you guys and I- I owe it with May. I just- I have to go."

Natasha raised an eyebrow. "You don't owe us anything."

"Yes, I do."

'Tell them, Peter. You need to tell them.' 

Tony was about to say something but Peter cut him to the chase. "I don't get why you guys are so eager to do this." Peter whispered, unsure if this is what he should really do.

"What was that?" Clint leaned in.

"I don't get why you guys are so willing to risk your lives for something you don't even need to be a part of. I don't get why anyone of you still keep me around!" Peter yelled out. Not really thinking what he just said.

Everyone flinched back in shock. 

"Peter, we-" Wanda started but Peter wasn't stopping now.

"What even am I to you guys? Am I just some charity case? Am I just another way to show the world that you guys are good!? Are you just going to throw me out when all of this is done!? Why are you all wasting so much time and energy helping me!? Some random kid you picked up from the streets!"

"Peter-"

Bruce tried to reach out to Peter but he stepped away. Everything that was held in was all rushing out. 

"Is everything just an act!? An act because you pitied me!? Did you guys just stick around in hopes to keep tabs on me!? Am I not good enough? Why does everyone leave me? Why am I still here?" Peter's voice quieted and cracked at the end. At this point, everyone was standing and Peter's back so right on the window.

"Peter, where is all of this coming from?" Steve asked.

"We choose to help you in a fight that no one should fight alone. We're a team." Tony said. "It doesn't matter what you say, cause you're a part of that team. Our team. So, yes, we are going to fight by you."

"I'm not a part of this team. Never was and never will be." 

Bucky reached out to Peter. Panicked, Peter grabbed his metal hand and twisted it. It shattered and fell to the floor. Peter looked at it with wide eyes then looked around the room. Looks of shock, pain, scared and worried were on their faces.

'See that? You caused that.'

Bucky noticing Peter's panicked look tried again. "Hey-"

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Peter backup even more. His hand right on the window. "I'm sorry."

"Peter, wait!" Wanda yelled out, but it was too late. Peter had already opened to window and had swung out.

~~~~~

Sorry if this seemed rushed. I had a new idea and rewrote this chapter. After I finish this book I might go rewrite a few things idk.

Anyway Byeee!