Don't Talk To Me | BOOK 3

twenty eight

Riley Murphy

2048

My heart stopped for a few seconds as I jolted awake.

I sat up sweating, gasping for air as I grabbed at my throat. It felt like I couldn't breathe.

I looked around my dark room. All the corners were black, causing my imagination to run wild with the thought.

I know Mason is dead. I killed him.

I watched his lifeless body fall to the ground.

And it still doesn't feel any better.

I don't feel safer. I feel like every time I turn a corner there's going to be somebody waiting there to shoot me in the head.

I sigh, rubbing my hands over my tired face as I get out of bed.

This has happened every night this week since I killed Mason. 

I haven't slept for more than 3 hours before his face haunts my dreams.

Elle and the others were right, this will stick with me forever.

And by the time breakfast rolled around, Dakota had to pick my head up off the table twice.

I basically fell asleep in my oatmeal.

"What is going on with you? Why are you so tired?" Elle asks concerningly, placing juice on the table. I shrug, "I'm not sure. I wake up tired." I lie through my teeth.

She looks at Alex for a brief second before smiling, "Oh, I guess it's just one of those times then." I nod.

"Anything on the list for today?" I ask, noticing two more bodies come into the kitchen. Alex shakes his head, ruffling Gage's hair, "Nope. You can chill I guess. Paxton and I are going to try and fix the house, otherwise it's moving day, again!"

"You know, when I was a kid. I think we moved 11 times before we ended up in Brookhaven and then Brickwood." Elle smiles, reminiscing. 

It was nice, hearing them talking about their good memories instead of their bad ones.

"What were your parents like?" Dakota asks, looking to Elle.

"They were amazing. Loved me and my little brother Ollie to bits. We were their whole world." 

"You had a little brother?" Levi says, Elle nods, "But he died before we could um- well, you know." 

I could feel Gage's harsh stare burning daggers into my back as I ignored him. It was hard, but I ignored him.

I don't understand why he's STILL mad at me. I apologised. It's his turn now.

"What about you guys? What were your parents like?" 

Paxton scoffed, "My Mom was never around. And my Dad was an alcoholic dickhead. I hated them both to be quite frank." 

"My parents were lawyers. They were never around either but I loved them. They tried their hardest to always be there." Megan smiles, sitting down next to Gage.

Alex looked down at his plate, avoiding the question, "Dad? What about you?" 

Alex finally looked up, "Um they were- great. My Mom owned a little salon and my Dad worked at the boat shed by the docks in New York. It was an easy life, and then they had Riley." 

"Seems like all of our parents- excluding Paxton's were good people then." Dakota smiles, "I wish I could've spent more time with ours, got them to meet you guys." Dakota shrugs, looking to her brother, "Yeah. You would've liked them. They knew how to cook." He wiggled his eyebrows.

I stayed silent, low-key upset that I didn't have stories I could tell them.

Abruptly losing my appetite, I pushed my bowl forward and walked out, grabbing my keys along with me.

I jumped in the car and started the engine, not having a destination to go to. I juts drove.

It's therapeutic and it works. I can be alone with my thoughts without any interrupting family members. 

I drove along the deserted roads, admiring how the overgrown grass still looked healthy and green. How the dandelions were littered across the road and in the cracks of the broken pathway.

Hell, even the buildings that were no longer standing were beautiful.

It was like broken cities turned into art.

My hands itched to draw something. Like I wanted to pick up a pencil and just sketch the outline of the city.

No that it's much of a city anymore but I need to do something.

I hate feeling worthless. I hate waking up every morning and having nothing to do because I can't control myself.

I stopped the car, slamming the door shut as I got out and climbed the ruble.

Most of the buildings were still in one piece. It was just the places overrun by zombies that had fallen to the ground. 

There were vines crawling across it, spiderwebs, thickly strewn in every corner, looking like a mural. It's almost like Mother Nature was taking back her life. 

For the first time in a long time, I smiled. And then I cried.

I cried for me, for my family, for the guilt I feel when I shouldn't feel it. I even cried for Mason, that two-timing asshole freak!

My head hurt after all the tears I once had were gone. 

I thought of Gage and why he hated me so much.

And then my mind drifted back to Dakota.

Her smile, her laugh... her legs.

Her eyes, her creativity... her body.

I can't stop thinking about her. She's the only thing in my life that seems to make sense to me. And it's overwhelming. I've probably screwed that up too. After ignoring all the signs and lashing out, she probably hates me too.

I hate myself, and so should she.

I groan, my body overcome with a tingly feeling.

"Why do you have to be so perfect?" I say to myself.

The way her dark eyes light up when she speaks, or the dimples by her mouth when she smiles... Her freckles that litter her face, her long wavy hair, the crinkles that form by the creases in her eyebrows when she's thinking too hard. 

"God." I curse, "What the fuck is she doing to me?" 

The wind whips my face lightly as I get back into the car, sitting there for a while before I decide to turn the engine on.

Thankfully I didn't go far. Just to the edge of the city.

I get back and see Alex and Paxton on the driveway, going over some blueprints for the house.

"How's it going?" I say.

Alex jumps and Paxton laughs at him, "Not good. I don't think this is reparable..." Alex shrugs, looking at me, "Where'd you go?" He asks me.

"Out." I shrug back.

"I see that, but where?" 

"Just, out Alex. I already said that." 

"Yeah and I asked where, dude. Why is it so difficult for you to-"

"To the edge of the city? Damn why is it such a big deal?"

"Because you're still my responsibility, Riley."

"Oh my God I can't catch a break." I chuckle humourlessly, crossing my arms over my chest, "Lose the attitude before I smack it off you, got it?" He warns.

I bend down, bowing it him, "Whatever... your majesty." I roll my eyes, walking into the house.

* * * 

hiii

riley is turning into be one sassy motherfucker eh?