You were a giggling mess as you stole the key from his hand and tried to open the door by yourself. After what felt like ten minutes you finally managed to turn the key around and wandered inside. You turned around and saw Pierre behind you, having a big smile planted on his face. He helped you out of your jacket and picked you up bridal style. You squealed as he lifted you of the ground and pushed your hands around his neck. "Be careful" you laughed and hid you face as he wandered through his flat. You could hear how he run against the doorframe with his elbow and swore some words in French. Slowly you looked up at him and it took you everything to not start laughing. "Funny. Yeah I know" he said and huffed before he joined your giggle.
You've been out with him the whole night, drinking some cocktails under the dark sky of Milan. You wandered from bar to bar and tried a different drink every time. Since Pierre was on his break, he was allowed to drink more than usual. You ended up wandering to his place. You've slept over at his flat quite often since you started dating four months ago.
As you reached the bedroom, he threw you on the mattress and you screamed as you landed. "Stop it!" you laughed and rolled over as he joined you on the bed. You pushed your head in his pillow and smiled as his sent filled your nose. You hummed happily and turned to the side, looking at him. Pierres hair was a mess and his nose was a little red from the alcohol. Slowly you pushed your hand forwards and pushed his hair back, playing with the ends. "I like the blonde" you mumbled and he smiled, leaning forward and pushing his nose against yours. "You always say that" he told you and you giggled slightly. "I know". The alcohol was still strong in your veins as he leaned captured your lips for another kiss. Your lips were swollen from all the kissing but you didn't care. You enjoyed every second of it.
After you parted, you bit down on your lip and looked into his eyes. Pierre smiled at you and pulled you closer, pushing his nose in your hair. You grabbed the blanket and pulled it over the two of you, not giving a damn about the street clothes you were still wearing. A few moments passed and you just looked at him under the dark covers. You couldn't see a lot but his eyes were still shining. "Hi" you whispered and he smiled. "Hello beautiful" he whispered back and you blushed. Thankfully, he couldn't see it under the sheets. He searched for your hand and held onto it, bringing it closer to his face as he laid his head on top of it. "I really like this" you began to whisper again and Pierre pressed a kiss to your wrist. "Me too" he mumbled and you giggled as you felt how he became tired. You didn't say anything anymore and just enjoyed the warmth and presence of him.
You thought he was drifting off but you felt his mouth on your ear after some time passed. "I love you" he said quietly and you opened your eyes and you got tense. Pierre noticed it and carefully pushed the blanket back. You stared at him and slowly sat up. Pierre followed you and pushed his hair back. "What?" he asked and you swallowed before you slowly got up. "Can you talk to me?" he continued and you just looked at your feet. "I think I'll go now" you whispered and Pierre stood in front of you. "Why? Because I said that I love you? Did it come as a surprise?" he asked again and you couldn't bring out a word. "Please let me go" you whispered and looked up at him before you walked passed him. He tried to stop you and but you didn't listen. You grabbed your bag and closed the door behind you, letting the tears fall under the cold Italian night. Pierre opened the door again but you walked away towards your flat, ignoring his calls.
***
The next morning you stared at the ceiling and bit heavily on your lip. From time to time a tear slipped down the side of your face but you quickly wiped it away. You glared at your phone and saw Pierres face on it. He tried to call you from the moment you left but you didn't answer. You pushed it underneath your cushion and slowly got up, taking a shower.
Afterwards, you mind still felt heavy. You leaned against the door in your bedroom and closed your eyes. You repeated the scene over and over again in your head and you tried to shake it off but you failed. To you, these three words meant something else. You didn't feel what you should feel when someone said these words to you. These words were used to much for you. Barely anybody meant what these words stood for and you had enough. You tried to escape from them again and again.
