To The Stage (Asking Alexandria Fan Fiction)

• I Don't Think I'll Ever Forgive You? •

I woke up to a dull ache in my ribs, neck and back. The light made my eyes sting painfully as I opened them. I pulled the blanket over my head and groaned. I barely got any sleep, I woke up crying from nightmares every 30 minutes.

"Oh you're awake," I hear a voice say.

"What the fuck?" I mumbled as I looked the blurry figure.

"Morning sunshine," Matt smiled.

"Aww, go fuck your-self," I whined.

He chuckled and yanked the sheets off of me.

"Dick," I muttered.

"Why yes I do have one," he laughed.

I shook my head and rolled over.

"C'mon, Mary said you need to shower."

I groaned and Matt helped me up. I took in all the pain and took a deep breath. He guided me to the bathroom door.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?"

"Yeah... I'll be fine."

"Okay," he said and soon walked away.

"Hey?"

He shot his head around.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Uhh, two pm," he said and left my room

"Shit..." I said with a surprised look on my face.

I walked in and stripped myself of my clothes. With every movement I made, it felt like someone was jabbing me with a knife. Thankfully, I was finished. I walked into the shower and saw that Mary bought me two bottles of my favourite shampoo and conditioner. I smiled at the thought of her remembering my favourite shampoo and conditioner.

I turned on the shower and let the moderate cold flow down my skin. I let the water run through my hair as run my fingers through it. I popped open the shampoo and the scent flared my nostrils. It smelled of the sweet scent of candy like strawberries. I drizzled it all through my dull blue hair and rubbed it in until it was foamy.

I washed it out and put the cold conditioner in my hand and rubbed it into my hair. I let it sit there as I washed myself with cheap soap. I rubbed my skin gently trying not to reopen a cut or push down hard to hurt one of my bruises. As I was done I washed the conditioner out of my hair and turned the water off. I couldn't shave my legs, Mary took my razors.

I dried myself and I walked out into the warm room. I opened my draws and saw nothing but black. All my skinny jeans and band tees. I pulled out my Marilyn Manson shirt and my non ripped black skinny jeans. I also got my bra and underwear, I put them all on carefully and I took the towel off my head. I let it air dry and I didn't bother with brushing it.

I might as well show myself.

Benny's P.O.V

"She's in the shower," Matt said as he walked into the room.

"Okay cool, thanks Matt," Mary thanked Matt as he sat down.

"No problem," he smiles.

"So, what did the doctor say after she was discharged?" James muttered loud enough for everyone to hear.

"She needs to take anti-depressants and she needs sleeping pills, but we all know that she won't take them,"'she said blankly.

"Why not?" Millie asked.

I cringed at the thought of what happen in the past. I just wish that it won't happen again.

"I don't wanna talk about it..." She mumbled.

We stayed silent for a moment and I was the first one to break it.

"Hopefully she'll be fine in the next few days," I said.

Mary and Ben nodded as everyone pretty much looked at the floor. I look around the room and I see Sam have a really aggravated look on his face. We make eye contact accidentally and he eventually went bat shit crazy.

"Why the fuck do we have to babysit her fucking twenty four seven!"

"Well, maybe for a fact that she's our friend and that we'll do anything for friends you insensitive asshole!" Danny rebounded.

"We don't need that bitch to drag us down with her selfishness!"

"Thanks to her we now are in debt, we can't buy food! We can't afford the bills! We're getting nowhere!"

"Just calm down," James said calmly.

"No! I fucking won't! I'm sick of Alice's shit!"

"Is this because you guys had a little fuck back at the penthouse!" Mary said through her gritted teeth.

Millie's face turned blank after she said that. I take it that she didn't know.

"No! Why the fuck would I care for that slut!"

"You know what Sam! She has done more for us than you ever fucking have!" Ben said loudly.

"All you do is hide out somewhere and never come out unless there was food!" I spat.

"Well at least I don't cut myself!" He added.

That's when my brain shut off and I let my rage take over. I shot up and clench my fist ready to punch this cunt is his disrespectful face. I felt to pairs of arms hold me back and I tried my best to wriggle off of them. Sam was too held back as he kept on going with his profanitys.

"You're all crazy! All you guys ever do is be depressed and make people sorry for you!"

My adrenaline took over me and I eventually got out of their grasp. As I grabbed Sam by his collar I hear a shriek of despair.

"Stop it!"

It was Alice standing there it's her face red from tears and he breaths were shaky from crying.

"Is that what you all think of me?" She said.

"A suicidal whore that does nothing with her life and make the worst decisions. That gets the maul from her fiancé everyday and doesn't say a word. I thought you guys cared? You're all that I have and that's what you think of me! You're all worst that my fucking family," she finished.

I loosened my grip on Sam and let him go as Alice ran off. Mary and Ben ran off after her as I stormed off to my room. What have I done?