To The Stage (Asking Alexandria Fan Fiction)

• Why Do I Even Bother? •

Warning: Trigger Warning, Drug Use and Violence.

Alice's P.O.V

As soon as I got back home, I bolted through the door and raced to the bathroom. I ignored Louis' pleads for my attention and locked the door.

I went through all my belongings is the bathroom and I finally found the object I was looking for. My razor blade.

Even though me and my band promised eachother that we would never self harm again, I just couldn't handle it.

The people who I thought would support me and care for me just stabbed me in the back. I thought they would understand that I loved Louis.

I looked at the blade with my watering eyes and I looked at my fading scars on my wrist. I pushed the blade on my wrist and trailed it along my skin. Blood was trailing behind it as I made more.

Im sorry, I broke my promise.

My depression is now swallowing me whole as I decent into my self hatred.

I dropped the blade next to me and looked at the mess I have made. Even though I tell my fans never to harm themselves and to stay strong, even I can't handle it. I feel like a fraud, a hypocrite, a worthless piece of shit.

I hear a faint thumping on the door and a male screaming angrily. Louis. I cleaned everything up and hid them as best as I could.

I opened the door and couldn't understand a thing Louis was saying. I just looked at him sadly and looked at my feet.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you!" Was all I could understand.

I looked up and his eyes were filled with fury and his nostrils were flaring. He kept on screaming at me and all I see was a blur and all I can hear is a loud high pitch ringing noise.

"Are you even listening to me Alice!?" He yelled with pure anger.

He grabbed my wrists and tightened his grip. He was still yelling at me uncontrollably as I scream in pain.

"No let go," I whispered.

"I'll let go! When I say I'll let go!" He belted.

He threw me down on the ground and slapped me hard accross my face. I feel a pinch on my cheak and skull as he stomped off. I was left on the floor crying and worthless.

Those suicidal thoughts come back to me. I want to die. I feel so useless to the world again.