by Annaj_m
The first chapter is completely amazing. It sucks you in immediately and does a great job of setting up the main characters, the conflict, and the setting.
I love the mc's voice and her situation are clearly defined and well played out.
My main thing for this story is how dramatically the characters shift after the first chapter. I absolutely loved Leah in the first chapter, she caught my sympathy and my curiosity to see how she would get through this situation. But after said first chapter, it felt like every character became shallower and fell further into cliches with each sentence.
I know this is something I often find myself doing in the first draft, so I hardly think it's unfixable. Writing out clearly in a separate place from the story who your character is, what she or he wants, building her or his character details, then going back into the story and editing their words, actions, and descriptions will make them more unique and defined.
Other than that, I think at the root, this story is has a fantastic start!!
Time Stamp: 1-5-21
![](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/219656286-288-k845571.jpg)
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RandomBook reviews of books on Wattpad that I've read!! I will do my best to be honest and try not to fangirl too much. If you would like your book reviewed, PM me or comment and please be polite. ///////////Genre is labeled in a chapter, then stories...