The first line is an excellent example of attention grabbing. It set the mood very well, and definitely got me interested in the character.
I did enjoy the characters and their interactions. And here is where we get to my thing, because it got in the way of connecting to the characters and what they were doing.
I could not understand what was going on. The first bit of the first chapter was okay, but after that the writing grew so confusing that I could not understand which character was doing what or even what they were supposed to be doing.
I don't mind a few confusing sentences, but there were a lot.
It makes it hard to comment on the characters, or the plot. Because I don't know what the characters are like or what the plot even was.
Now, I do definitely think it can be fixed: with editing. Editing is no one's favorite - or almost no one's.
But I think that if you want the story to be more than for your own pleasure in writing, editing would help other people to love it as much as I hope you do.
Time Stamp: 4-6-21
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Beautiful Books (reviews closed)
RandomBook reviews of books on Wattpad that I've read!! I will do my best to be honest and try not to fangirl too much. If you would like your book reviewed, PM me or comment and please be polite. ///////////Genre is labeled in a chapter, then stories...
