by Yn_2421
Ya'll.... ya'll I am in love with good first lines. The opening is strong, and the first line is to die for. I adore the cover. It fits the story very well, and is just gorgeous in general.
I don't know if the author has been to any of the countries included, but there's a good start on making these places and cultures feel very real.
The mc's point of view is strong, and I love her way of describing things. The one word adjectives before she moves on to more detailed descriptions is a wonderful technique.
I love the street fighting idea. It very much fits the main character, though honestly Mr. Introduce-small-girl-to-street-fighting-because-I-saw-her-punch-one-guy needs some perspective XD
My only thing:
preparation and foreshadowing. This is something that can easily be done in editing once the first draft is finished.
Many of the events in the story seem like a sudden jerk in an opposite direction. It doesn't seem to make any sense because there was no indication in the chapters before.
For example: the street fighting. If we had a few mentions of perhaps a time in the past when she had outwitted a brother when he was being rough, or knocked out a guy for getting too touchy and got in trouble for it, we wouldn't feel like we got punched in the face with randomness when she beat some dude up in a later chapter. If that makes sense.
Yes, you want to maintain the "can she defeat this hulk of a dude" during her first match, but the fact that she could floor a guy in the first place feels so random. Like suddenly finding out you have magical powers five or ten chapters into a story when there was no indication magic existed at all.
Otherwise, I love the story! <3
Time Stamp: 12-4-20
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Beautiful Books (reviews closed)
RandomBook reviews of books on Wattpad that I've read!! I will do my best to be honest and try not to fangirl too much. If you would like your book reviewed, PM me or comment and please be polite. ///////////Genre is labeled in a chapter, then stories...
