insouciant || ON HIATUS

ℂℍ𝔸ℙ𝕋𝔼ℝ 𝟚𝟜

Ayano found him in the kitchen, brewing tea.

She only smiled at him. Half of Mamoru was expecting her to ask what he was doing up so late, but he had a feeling Claire informed her of his insomnia.

"Do you want some tea?" He asked awkwardly. Just something to break the silence.

Ayano nodded and took a seat at the table, accepting the steaming teacup with careful hands. She caught a whiff of the unusual aroma and leaned in for a closer whiff.

"It's lavender tea," Mamoru supplied helpfully, seating himself at the table. "It's good for relaxation and to help you sleep."

Curiously, Ayano took a sip of the amber liquid. "It's very floral," she noted. "And sweet. I don't remember having this?..."

Mamoru nodded absently. "I brought some over from Claire's. I hope I didn't disturb you."

"You didn't disturb me," she denied. "I couldn't sleep."

It just occurred to him Ayano was also up drinking tea with him at three in the morning. "Do you have insomnia too?" Mamoru asked softly.

"Sometimes," she answered truthfully, staring at the stray flower floating in her tea. "Sometimes I wake up and I just can't go back to sleep, no matter how tired I am."

Ayano looked at him with a gentle smile. "Do you want to talk about something? I'm a good listener."

Mamoru had many things to talk about, most of them things he was not comfortable talking about. But he could talk about this.

"I'm thinking about joining the volleyball club," he murmured. "But...I have a bad history with getting close to people. I want to try. I really do, but I'm sca-"

Mamoru clamped his mouth shut so suddenly, he almost bit his tongue. "Worried," he stammered quickly. "I'm worried it will be the same situation as before."

Knowing she wasn't aware of what happened at Teiko, he tried to explain the best he could.

Ayano listened patiently. Even when he stopped talking to recollect his thoughts, she patiently waited for him to speak.

When Mamoru stopped speaking, he waited for her opinion.

"I think you should join."

He waited for her to elaborate. Mamoru had a feeling she'd say that.

"People are complex things," she mused aloud. "It's not definite that what happened before can happen again."

Ayano leaned forward, resting her head on a hand. "And I don't know if you know him, but do you know the Little Giant?"

Mamoru pondered over it. He shook his head, unaware of the person she was talking about.

"He's in college now, but a kohai of mine played against his team once. Shiratorizawa and Karasuno faced off against each other in one of the matches and they actually went to Nationals."

She smiled fondly. "I remember the way she talked about their team. She couldn't stop looking at thinking 'wow, they look like they're just having fun while doing their best'. I don't think you have to worry about falling apart."

Mamoru stared at his empty cup thoughtfully. "Thank you for your opinion," he said finally, looking up at the mother. "I think I'll join tomorrow."

"That's great, honey." Ayano grinned. "If you ever need help with volleyball, I'm always open. I'm always open if you want to just talk too."

She took his empty cup and hers, and placed them in the sink with a gentle clink. "Now I think it's time we go to bed. You have school tomorrow."