insouciant || ON HIATUS

ℂℍ𝔸ℙ𝕋𝔼ℝ 𝟜𝟞

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If only I could change it now

Not sure I even would

'Cause I can feel it in my bones

Regret misunderstood

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Watching someone slowly fall into a slump was painful.

Not knowing how to help was even more painful.

Maiko knew her brother better than he knew himself. He probably knew more about her than he did about herself. How they grew up, they only had each other.

She thought Mamoru would do better now that he wasn't playing adult in the house. Claire was a wonderful guardian, but she wasn't around as much as Alessandro or Ayano.

But he continued to fall.

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It's just a feeling that I've found

Are we forced to play this out?

'Cause it's not supposed to be this way

Telling yourself it's just too much

With your intentions to give up

No, we're not supposed to feel this pain

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When he came home from his game, there was something different about him (no, she wasn't walking about his sprained ankle). Mamoru was always quiet, it was just due to the way they grew up.

But today, he seemed almost...angry. It was subtle, but she saw it in the way his brows furrowed and his hands clenched around his crutch.

Maiko watched him climb up to his room to do homework like every single day without a care in the world. His shoulders were always tight with tension and he never seemed to let his guard down except when he was sleeping.

He'd always been the shield for her. He'd take any blows and anything just so Maiko could have a decently normal childhood. He learned piano, harp, flute, and violin, taking up instruments that their mother would've forced on Maiko.

As a result, Mamoru became the prized child. He had such heavy expectations set upon his shoulders, but to him, that was fine. Maiko was alright and so was he.

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'Cause we can be a little too hard on ourselves

It's all for nothing, yeah

We can be a little too rough on our hearts

It's all for nothing

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