My Guilty Pleasure

41. Broken Promises

Damien's POV

I really shouldn't be doing this. I worked so hard to create an image. Everything was done so she would hate me. She needed to hate me and I made that possible. I'm like Batman, I will be hated if that's what necessary. Okay, okay, not like Batman. It's stupid to say that, but hey it is a possibility. I am such a nice guy after all. These thoughts made me chuckle and it is a rare sight. Most of the times I don't have much to look forward to. I am pretty much unhappy and unhealthy person. When I'm not drinking, I'm doing much worse things. And all because of her... I want to say I hate her and that that's what drove me to be like this but no... I can't hate someone like her. I would be too cruel. My conscience is bugging me, it's telling me that I'm the worst possible being. But hey, I need to be like that. I would be even crueller If I let her stay with me. I am a dead man walking. Lately, I was trying to find a way out but it's not so easy. I know too much and no one trusts me when I say I will leave it all behind. Also many depend on me so they wouldn't want to lose money solely because I've gone soft and decided to retire. There is also my father... He's a disgrace to that label. The things he has done put me to shame and I'm in a fucking mafia. 

My head snapped in a direction of a familiar blond as she entered her house. Yes, yes, I am at the safe distance from her house, watching it. I just needed to make sure she is alright. She didn't seem well the last time I saw her. A sigh left my lips as I realize that the reason for her unhappiness is probably my new fiance. I wish I could tell her it's just business. Another rule from my father. She is well known in both worlds, business and mafia world. Her father is so rich and influenced but only because he made his way to the top doing the dirty deeds. Getting rid of her wouldn't be easy, but luckily she doesn't expect anything from me. She doesn't even like me, which is a bonus. Oh, Desiree... I wish I could say how sorry I am but it won't change anything. There would be not enough sorries in the world to fix the damage I've done. Desiree is carrying my child and all I can do is watch her as she goes home to that man. My hands subconsciously formed fists. I hate him. It's not just jealousy, but I admit there is plenty of that too, but a thought that he's making her into something she is not. I wanted the best for her and our child. She is strong, I knew she would manage but she needed support. It pains me to admit but he is a pretty decent man. That didn't mean that he would be a decent husband. She stopped working. Now that he rebuilt his company I expected her to take her position back but it's not like that. She barely leaves her house, and I only ever see two people come to visit her. I don't know what she's become but I don't like it. It's not what I planned for her, and it wasn't our deal...   Zachary now left the house and I decided it's enough from me for a day. I should go home. I never wanted to be here but I can't seem to go far away. I just turn the engine on, deciding whether to go or to stay a bit longer. My phone rang distracting my thoughts. The face of my fiancee fleshed on the screen and I rolled my eyes but I know better than not to answer. It would be worse If I hide from her, she really is the devil in disguise. So I answered, preparing myself for another headache.

-Where the hell are you? We agreed to meet my father and you are nowhere to be found! This is the last time I'm warning you, If you do not play by my rule I'll make arrangments that will not sit well with you. - Her voice is on edge and I can only imagine how scary her face is. I can't even pinpoint how this happened. How did I end up with her...-

-I have some matters to attend to... With my men. Your father would understand, so just tell him that.- Now I heard something from Desiree's house and it brought me back to my senses. Fallon is still talking, more like screaming at me but I lost her. What is going on? I will be such a creep if I go to check if she is alright but I can't leave. I have a bad feeling. I saw Zachary leave so what is going on now? My heart stopped for a second imagining what is she doing right now. Maybe she is giving birth and no one is with her. I need to see that she is alright. I will just peek and call help if it's needed.