My Guilty Pleasure

Epilogue

Five years later

My daughter is running through the field, her face bright and smiling. She is giggling as our dog chases her around. I'm standing in the shadow of a big tree, thinking about a painful memory binding me to this spot. For a while, I didn't know what to do with this place. Damien's wish was to bury him here, at the estate where his mother is and where, in his words, he had home. My heart still throbs when I think about him. It's impossible not to really, since every time I look at Aurora it's like his eyes are looking back at me. Sometimes I find it scary how much she resembles him. She smiles like him. That half-smile, reviling a dimple in her cheek just like he had. Her eyes are mischievous, and she is so hard to handle from time to time. But all of that just makes me think of him and I can't love our daughter more. A sigh escaped me as I traced my fingers on a hard surface of a tree. This is the place where I felt genuinely happy, even if it was just for a couple of days. I climbed this tree and he told me why he loved me... Well, in his own way he explained why he loved me. He was never soft with words... 

-It will get dark soon. We need to pack. Come on.- Aurora pretended not to hear me and I frown, trying to make my serious face but in reality, I am as scary as that fluffy puppy she's playing with.

-Don't make me repeat it! Let's go!- This time she glanced at me and run, along with the puppy, into my arms. She got pretty big but I still caught her and held her close to me, getting the necessary strength after my thoughts drain me. I love coming here, but a part of me always feels so tired when I visit this place. We are at Damien's vila in France. He left us everything, it seems he made his will a long time ago. To be honest I didn't want to take his money. It's bloody money and he paid a heavy price for it. So I gave it all to charity, hoping that it will balance the bad things that happened because of me and Damien. I only left this place because I couldn't part ways with it. In his will, he also stated that in the case of his death he wants to be buried here. It was a small event. Just me, his father, and a couple of his closest coworkers. After that, it took me a while to come back here, but the first time I came it was like I'm so close to him. I remembered all the good times we had, all the gentle things he said... I come here with Aurora for every vacation. I tell her stories about her real dad from time to time, but she still doesn't know much about him. Zachary and I divorced, but as he said, he still visits. Aurora has his last name and she loves him just as much as he loves her. I'm grateful that she has a father figure in her life. Zachary's business is going well, he is always so busy. Recently he started dating and I genuinely hope he will find someone to share his life with because he deserves only the best.

As for Arianna, it took a long time for her to recover from everything but she is okay now. I see that she still has a problem with men and she is keeping her distance from everyone, always going on long trips and taking job offers as far away as possible. We keep in touch and she visits but it's not the same as we were before. I always see that moment in the warehouse when I look at her and I can sense how guilty she feels even though it's not her fault.

 After that happened, I made sure to get help. Many hours of talking with qualified people got me where I am today. Everything happened as it was supposed to happen. I can't change anything. It was fate. Maybe my destiny was to learn that I only need myself to be happy. And my daughter of course. But for me to love and cherish her I need to be able to do that for myself first. At least that is what I learned and it seems to be working. 

I moved into a small town in Florida. I didn't want to go far away because I still have people who care about me in Miami. Zachary forgave me and we have a friendly relationship, mostly for Aurora's sake. Zachary will never forget the pain I caused him, and I don't need him to. It's okay. We all need to live with our mistakes. I can just work to make them right, I can't completely erase them.

Ayline got pretty shaken up after she heard about Peter. It seems she loved him very much. She still doesn't talk about him, and her personality changed quite a bit. She started working at her family's business and got pretty serious. She always visits and she is even Aurora's godmother. 

Gabriel got married, and he visits from time to time too. We solved our differences and he and his wife are dear friends of mine. 

So that would be pretty much it. I never imagined my life would be filled with so many people. When I got help, and when I got better I opened my eyes and all of these people were there. What I didn't realize is that I don't need someone to hold my hand every step of the way. It would be lovely, yes. I'm sure I would be happier, but maybe that's just too much to ask. I can walk just fine on my own. And maybe it's time for me to be there for someone else. I can be there for my daughter for as long as she needs me. She will lean onto me, and I will help her be whatever she wants to be. Yes, that is my purpose. 

-Mommy, mommy let me down.- She struggled in my arms and I gently put her down and took her hands as we made our way towards the house. 

-Did I tell you your dad used to live here?- She nodded and beamed at me waiting to hear my story.

-Well, he was such a lonely child, and stubborn. He used to sneak out of here so he wouldn't need to go to school and learn. He would jump over the fence and then run towards the lake that is just...- She giggled as I exaggerated my stories of Damien's childhood. I talked for a long time until she fell asleep in my arms and I closed my eyes dreaming of Damien's smiling face as he's looking over us... 

The End