My Guilty Pleasure

29. Wrong Names Were Said

-Hey, you reached Damien Moore, leave a message...Or don't, I don't care - I ended the call after I heard the familiar sentence from his answering machine. Where the fuck is he? It's been three days since we last saw each other. After dinner at the restaurant and an amazing night, I woke up and he was gone. I saw him at work the next day but we didn't have time to talk. Later when I called him he didn't answer. I must admit I'm worried. Something is wrong. I don't know what is happening but he left after such amazing sex and he hasn't been to work, only the day after but that was all. It's like he diapered into the ground. I'm debating whether to go to his apartment or not. I just have a bad feeling... Maybe it was too much, that night was... Intense... I'm scared to say it but I felt something. It wasn't fucking it was... I can't. I can't say that I don't believe in that. I want to say it was making love but there is no such thing. And I would have to love him to be able to make love to him. I groaned in frustration and looked at my phone once again. I wish he would just call to let me know what is happening. This anticipation is killing me. He's probably out there right now, fucking some girl. He should at least have the decency to call me, I'm only worried about him, I don't care if he's with another woman. Our agreement was about satisfying each other, and I'm not satisfied right now. Far from it. I'm frustrated. I hate him, he is a moron. I despise him. It's for the best that he's not answering, I'm reading too much into everything. I need to focus on my job, we have a huge deal to uphold and Damien is only distracting me. I went to my home office and tried to look through the contracts but my mind wandered around. I can't do this, I will give it to Zachary tomorrow and he will check them. I will just sign it, what's the worst that can happen? I wonder if Damien likes blonde women? Maybe I'm not his type... Maybe he's fucking some brunette right now, or red-head... He told me once I'm not his type. Red-heads immediately scream passion, fire... I wouldn't be surprised if that's what he likes. Ahhh! Who cares, he can do whatever he wants. Although I need his signature on this contract. It should be Zachary who'll take that signature but I don't want to bother him. He is busy so I can get ahold of Damien and take care of his signature. Yes! That's why I need to find him quickly. 

For the rest of the day, I went back and forth but there was no sign of Damien so I slept restlessly, and in the morning when I got to work the first thing I did was go to his office. When I arrived, I nervously knocked twice and went in. Strange... He's not even here. I used this to take a look at what's in here. I feel like one of those paranoid girls who checked clothes and stuff of their guy to see if he's cheating on them. I don't even know why I am interested in what's in his office, but when I am already here and he's not I could look around, just in case. I only want to find out a little more about him. I put the papers on the table and looked around. Actually, there is nothing special. It's boring, there are no photos, there is nothing private. I tried to open the desk drawers but they are all locked. Then I clicked on the mouse and saw that the computer isn't shut down, it's just put on sleep. As soon as it turned on, Damien's facebook appeared. He didn't even log out. I sat down at the table and began to look at his profile. He has a nice profile image, him with black glasses and a scarf around his neck, leaning against a wall. He looks dangerous and attractive. I smiled at that. It's quite nice, and he has this dangerous aura. Then I clicked at the messages and my breath stopped. He was chatting with a lot of girls. And judging by their profile pictures they are all beautiful. I don't know why, but I'm a bit annoyed about that. I know we said no jealousy and in fact, I'm not jealous but most of them are prettier than me. I clicked on their messages and the truth is that they all wrote to Damien first, but he answered and flirted with them. They have some adult messages and that made me blush. I shouldn't be looking at this but when I already am, I can go all the way. It was silly of me, but I thought that I'm the only woman right now in his life. What a fool. To be honest, I said we can see other people. I don't have any right to be mad. I almost slept with Charles, so we are equal... I'm telling myself all of that but the truth is that that's not helping. In the end, I couldn't sleep with Charles and I only wanted Damien. It pains me that I wasn't enough for him, he was still talking and doing who knows what with other girls... But why am I so upset by the fact that he is now fucking some woman? I guess I'm jealous. Of course, I'm not. It's just my ego, I wanted to be the only one for him because it would mean that I am the best. It has nothing to do with whether I'm jealous or not. Because of course, I'm not. I put Facebook as it was and put the computer to sleep, took the contract, and returned to my office... I just want to go home, lay down, and watch some movies while eating some ice-cream...