My Guilty Pleasure

28. Look At Me, Baby

-This Isn't a smart idea, remember what I said. - I told him while crossing my arms, wondering why did I agree to this. The main rule of this agreement was that no one finds out that we're together or whatever we are. First of all, somehow Damien makes people hate him so when they find out we are involved, they hate me too. Second of all, he is my boss so that is technically against rules. Everyone knows that you don't shit where you eat, pardon the expression. That's my main problem. Now... I let stupid Damien convince me that going to the restaurant is a good idea. Now we are sitting and eating our meal, he's eating more precisely, and I can't convince myself to put anything in my mouth from the fear and tension I feel. I'm too nervous to relax. What if someone from our company comes here, or journalist, or if someone recognizes us and call the reporters.

-Oh gosh, you are so annoying. Relax for once and put that damn meal into your mouth or I will put something else in it. - I looked at him questionably and rolled my eyes. This was a bad idea.

-Come on Desiree? You will not even tell me that I'm an idiot? Ah... Kitty comes on... I'm serious, nothing bad will happen. I don't want anyone to find out about us too. The last thing I want is for people to imagine that we are in a relationship, then both of our lives would be in a lot of crap. - His sentence caught my attention and I opened my eyes wide and looked at him questionably.

-What do you mean? - I said doubtfully, and I noticed that Damien changed his behaviour.

-Am... Nothing, forget it. I don't know why I said that. Trust me, Desiree, I'm serious. Relax, I wouldn't have brought us here If I'm not sure. No one will see us and If anyone does we can always say it's business dinner. Live a little, kitty. - His whole speech did not satisfy me but I decided to get over my issues and I just sighed and took some salad. I don't understand how he can convince me so easily. He calms me down with just one sentence. I don't feel as panic as before.

-You haven't convinced me but I'll try to relax. If something bad happens, you will fix it however you know, do you understand me? is that clear? - I tried to intimidate him but Damien just rolled his eyes at me and smiled with his million-dollar smile.

-Sure kitty, I wouldn't expect anything less. I'll take care of everything, just relax and leave everything to me. - He is sincere and I don't know why but his smile made me smile.

-Let's talk about that buddy of yours, I am very interested in what happened. - He said honestly and I was a little surprised because he wants to have an ordinary conversation but I just nodded.

-OK. If you truly want to know then I'll tell you. First, we came into the restaurant and for the first half-hour I was too stubborn to give in, and we just sat in awkward silence and barely spoke. And when I say we, I mean Gabriel since it wasn't my fault we didn't say a word. Then he said that he could have assumed that it will be like that and he has to go. I realized that you were a little bit right and that I was a bitch and stopped him and told him how I felt and apologized and after that everything was fine. To cut to the point, we talked about everything that was going on and he told me about Jessica and that she doesn't like us hanging together but that she finally came to terms with the fact that he won't completely erase me from his life and so on... Honestly... Somehow I felt like we are again as close as before. Somehow we reconnected and time passed so quickly, I was kind of sad when the evening came to an end. I miss him, he was the closest person to me. He called me every day, he came with me everywhere, I told him everything... I even wanted to tell him about this that is going on with you and me, but I refrained myself. Maybe it would hurt him, I don't know if he's still in love with me or he has given up because he has Jessica, but still, I just want him to be happy and us to be normal with each other again. Also, what should I tell him "Hey, I'm fucking my boss for months now, you know the one who almost abused me? Well, we are fuck buddies now". That is not a nice thing to say to a man who is in love with you since you were sixteen.- I sighed when I finished and smiled at Damien. It's kind of nice to be able to talk to someone like this. The last person I did this with was Gabriel, now is quite similar to that feeling. I'm not sure if I'm more afraid of this feeling or if I like it. Damien now has a serious face and seems to be lost in his thoughts.