My Guilty Pleasure

25. Let's Get To Know Each Other

It's been five days since we came back from Mexico and finally, I called Damien, asking him to meet me at my house. I said I wanted to rest from the trip and I wanted to be alone. I even took some days from work, a bit afraid to leave the house. Now I am ready to get back to normal, I need to have fun, and I need Damien for it as much as I don't want to admit it. I need to relax and take out all of my frustrations. Until now, I didn't know that sex is so good. After the deal with Damien, I realized how much was I missing... I smiled when I heard someone at the intercom in front of my house and I know it's Damien. I press the button to unlock the gate and patiently waited for him to enter. He was here a couple of times during the last month of our agreement so he already knows his ways around the house. I smiled at him when he walked into the living room but he didn't return a smile and just sat next to me on the couch.

-So? I deserve an explanation. What was all of that with Alexander? - He's really not beating around the bush. I hoped he has forgotten about it, but I underestimate him. 

-I'm not sure I follow you... What do you mean? -He rolled his eyes, visibly annoyed.

-Don't play naive Desiree... First, why didn't you ever say that you have a brother? Second, why is your relationship so... strange, cold. The more I think about it, I think you are afraid of him. That day when you got into our meeting and when you got a panic attack was it because of me or him? Or was it an act? Also, why didn't you want to see me for five days? Do you want to cancel our agreement? - He asked all serious and I sighed, thinking about what to tell him next. I don't want to reveal too much, but I think I will have to, somehow, explain my relationship with Alexander... Damien is not stupid, and he felt that something is wrong...

-Well, it's like this. First, you're right, I don't have the best relationship with my brother. We have simply grown apart over the years. At first, everything was fine and we were the perfect family. We loved each other and protect each other, but since our parents died when I was eighteen, all went downhill... Alexander didn't accept their death, he got himself into bad things, didn't listen to me, he was... angry a lot... All of that made us go different ways. Honestly, I haven't seen him for a long time and I was surprised to see him in Mexico from all the places, so that's why I reacted like that. And that day in the club. Honestly, even I don't know what it was. I didn't pretend, neither was I scared I just mixed something, that's really funny from me, isn't it? I'm sorry that I didn't call for the last five days, I just rested. I didn't want anybody to disturb me. I went to the spa, and the hairdresser, wax, shopping... Girl's stuff, it wouldn't interest you that's why I didn't call you. - I told him, satisfied that I made such a good lie but Damien just looked sceptical.

-How stupid do you think I am Desiree? You had a panic attack and you don't know why? Come on Desiree please, I can't be with you and have no idea when you're going to go crazy or what I may do and what not. I deserve an explanation for your behaviour. You owe me that much Desiree. - He said furiously and I swallowed nervously. What do I do now? I don't want to tell him the truth, I don't. I don't want him looking at me with sympathy, and to pity me or worse to agree with Alexander that it was my fault, or to end the deal, not wanting to have anything to do with a fucked-up person like me.

-It's not that Damien! Also, I owe you nothing, you know that we're not a couple, nor will we be. We're just fucking Damien, get it into your head. You do not have to know my life nor details from it, the agreement has everything you need to be interested and that's it. I told you everything, even explained what happened and you-you don't have to believe me, it's your choice. - I told him arrogantly, hoping that he'll leave the topic. I don't want to stop this, whatever it is that we have, but if he keeps asking me I'll have to. I don't want him to know...

-Okay, Desiree. If you say so, I'll let it slide, for now, but I hope you will be able to tell me one day. We're already spending a lot of time together, we could take advantage of it and occasionally say something about ourselves or talk about something that's bothering us, and I'll simply try to make you feel better and I'm not that much of a moron to go and tell anybody about it. I prefer to keep my business for myself and keep the things away from other people... - I smiled at it, wondering if it is true. Although I think it is, he doesn't need to lie to me and something tells me that it really is like that.