Don't Look Back

Chapter 29

"Are you very well Miss Heywood?" came Lady Denham's concerned voice from across the table.

Charlotte smiled and nodded. "I am excited to see my sister play against the men of Sanditon."

"Your nearly legendary play has been talked of for many years. I do hope your sister lives up to the example you set." Lady Denham sipped her punch. "I quite like the united gentlemen's and laborer's unity against the women. To see them so concerned at being outmatched against some girls and mothers..." she laughed gaily. "They must have some awareness to their shortcomings in all other avenues to want to excel so much when on a level field."

Charlotte smiled and looked to Lady Susan who nodded and commented her hearty agreement to the observation. The old woman did not mention the drama of the days before, or how ridiculous she felt for her emotional walk that had turned both dangerous and dramatic.

She knew well from the cook Claudet that rumors had spread that it had possibly been a suicide attempt, so she was doubly pleased that Lady Denham had so far made no mention of it.

"Please excuse me, I wish to get something to eat." Charlotte stood as Allyson went to join the women's team that gathered. She noticed Sidney's eyes look her way and she scanned the crowd for Eliza. Flora played with her cousins and nurse, but she could not see Mrs. Eliza Parker on the sidelines and for that, she breathed a small sigh of relief.
les.

"Miss Heywood looks out of her element today. She used to strike me as such a robust sort of girl. Steady and true." Lady Denham said as the game started and her eyes were seemingly engaged on the sport but her foggy ears were centered squarely on her companion Lady Worcester.

"I agree Miss Heywood is not at her best at present. And it is all due to me, I am afraid," she said louder than she wished. It was no use to be discrete when one's companion was hard of hearing.

The old woman spared her a glance and frowned to convey her displeasure at the reply. "How, how indeed is it due to you? You who have been her benefactor and her greatest friend? How on earth could you be the bee in Miss Heywood's bonnet?"

Chuckling to herself Susan sipped her champagne preferring that to punch. "I fear I am most assuredly perhaps even the queen bee of my dear Charlotte's problems at present and I should have thought of her more than myself in my decision coming here or in my business plans. But I am afraid I rationalized that somehow it was for her betterment."

Lady Denham shrugged. "Business is business, and it is for her own good. His too I would wager," she said looking directly at Mr. Parker who was scratching at his chin and looking Miss Heywood's direction as the ball sped past him.

"I thought you abhorred the pleasure of gambling?" Lady Susan countered with a sly smile.

The older Lady shrugged. "Well, I am not adverse if I see a sure win."

"Is it my understanding that you see a way for a sure win?" Lady Susan asked.

The Old woman smiled and nodded. "That conversation is not for this company my dear Lady Worcester. Perhaps I shall come for tea, upon a day." her smile was sly and Lady Susan could not help but feel intrigued by her interest in the situation.

"You are welcome to call at whatever hour is most convenient." Susan smiled warmly.

Lady Denham nodded and turned her attention back to the game but her eyes were flashing about the entire field. Taking note of all the ladies, and gentlemen and who their eyes turned and fell upon.

"I see Lord Sellac's eyes are on the roll again. I thought Phillida Beaufort was for Sir Radmore?" Lady Denham asked suddenly.

Lady Susan raised her brows and observed the exchanged looks and flirtatious smiles.

"Lord Sellac does not need a fortune," Lady Susan commented. "He has a vast one, lands to go with, and a title. He is at liberty to marry where he chooses. But it has been my observation that he prefers dalliances." she frowned.

Grinding her teeth with irritation Lady Denham pulled out her fan and snapped it into movement. "Indeed. When it was widow's and married vipers I cared little, but if it is eligible young ladies then something should be done to shackle the beast."

"You think marriage would tame him?" Lady Susan asked shocked.

Lady Denham nodded and looked at her seriously. "Doesn't it restrain us all? It is better than the restraints are as soft as silk, " she stopped and looked around to see eyes on them. "Rather than chafe."

Lady Worcester nodded and smiled. "Lady Denham, you scandalize."

The old woman rolled her eyes. "I wish I had more life in me I could scandalize," she said sternly. "I lived a life that is without reproach." she scoffed. "You can imagine the regrets."

Lady Susan smiled at that and nodded. "It does help to settle one's self securely before taking such risks. After all..." she sipped her flute lazily. "Mrs. E. Parker seems to get away with much from what I hear."

The smack of the ball drew the attention of the crowd and they all gasped as Sir Radmore made the run against Mrs. Mary Parker who hitched up her skirts and made a dash of it.

Lady Denham shook her head.

—

"So you have emerged from hiding." Georgiana's voice came upon her while her back was turned as she picked up two sandwiches triangles.

Spinning around Charlotte blushed. "Can you blame me? People think I was trying to kill myself."

Georgiana looked at her sternly. "Were you?" her eyes hinted at her past brush with strong emotions which led her to a cliffs edge many years before that only a stranger had coaxed her from. One who became a friend.

Charlotte looked around embarrassed. "I was overcome with emotion. But I had no intentions besides running as far from this place as I could."

Georgiana shook her head. "Where is your sense then?" she asked. "You could have simply packed at went home."

Charlotte gazed past the small space above her friend's shoulder to see Sidney looking their way. Her stomach flopped. She had the same instinct to run again. She was terrified of him and how he made her feel.

Would she ever be able to forget him? She felt the tears start to gather.

"Come on Sidney!" A shout sounded beside the ladies and they jumped.

"Get in the game! The ball flew right past you!" Reverend Hankins who was not referring this time shouted as he pulled off his had frustratedly and looked to Mrs. Griffiths.

Sidney's hungry eyes held to Charlotte's once more before he reluctantly looked back to the field and his lagging team. The ladies were winning and both Georgiana and Charlotte stopped a moment to observe the determined and gleeful face on Lady Babington's face.

"If you are so unhappy here Charlotte, you should go home," Georgiana whispered. "I don't want you hurt again."

Charlotte watched the man she loved swing his arms and miss the ball and could view his lips as they uttered a frustrated curse.

With a sigh, she looked around and leaned forward. "To be hurt again one would need to recover." she laughed. "Upon reflection, I think I am still mortally wounded from the first time. Perhaps a second time will finally put me out of my misery." she laughed nervously to see Mr. Stringer was wearing her sister's color on his arm. "I am an old maid, and even going home to my family is becoming less of an option." she bit her lip.

Georgiana sighed. "I could contrive a position for you, here." she fanned herself. "But I do not suppose that would be of any use."

Charlotte shook her head. "No."

"He is not staying with her for her sake," Georgiana said seriously.

Charlotte blinked and shook her head. "I have no thoughts on his why's. They are none of my business." she tried to not care as she now watched Sidney strike out against her sister. He did not look too pleased either, but saluted Allyson politely none the less and moved in their direction.