Don't Look Back

Chapter 15

The gulls were flying behind the great passel of children as Charlotte approached Esther who was wearing a red wool coat and a smart yellow and red ribboned hat.

"Oh Miss Heywood, thank god, I was craving stimulating conversation. I am afraid my attitude in the various colors of seashells quite disappoints the children," she said with a smile.

Charlotte was wearing a dark green woolen long coat and she smiled at the running children.

"There are so many of them," she said breathlessly. "I count five little heads but I know the most recent addition is a baby!" she giggled at a pretty blond with gentle curls.

Esther nodded. "The fifth is Flora, Eliza, and Sidney's daughter. She is near the age of Henry and Sophia," she said discussing her oldest set of twins.

Charlotte looked at the girl and looked at the laughing girl. "Flora, Henry, Sophia, Clarissa, and Charlotte, come meet Miss Heywood!" she said brightly as the children ran about.

All of them lined up. Most of them wiggled and fidgeted but managed to put on a semblance of manners and shook her hand politely.

"It is lovely to meet you all," she replied.

"Charlotte is named for you, you know?" Esther said with a smile as the children went back to running. "When they were born I felt simply awful for losing touch as I did... Instead of remedying it I just named one of them after you so that I would be forever reminded what a terrible friend I am." she smiled. "You know me, I positively romanticize suffering."

Charlotte blushed and smiled. "I am honored." she laughed as Esther did seeing the absolute madness in that logic.

Linking her arm companionably in Charlotte's arm she leaned in as they strolled. "Tell me... Years ago we walked here much as we do now. Much has happened and changed." she said seriously. "I once told you that you would regret ever coming here.... Was I right?" she asked.

Charlotte frowned unsure how to answer.

"I only ask because you have been gone so long, I imagined you wished us all from your life in the end. After what happened with Sidney..." she said and Charlotte again was still at a loss.

"How did you-" she asked breathlessly. She had thought none knew of her pain besides Lady Susan who was the only one who knew her secret.

"Oh, you hid it all rather well. It was Sidney's behavior after you left that gave it all away." she smiled. "At least to me and my dear Stanley. I mean Lord Babington." she looked at Charlotte wondering if she would inquire further.

Charlotte's stomach dropped and she looked sidelong at Esther nervous to ask. "What happened?"

Esther sighed. "You know how men talk. More open with each other than with us. Tongues loosened by drink." she looked to Charlotte. "He said there was an understanding between you two, and that his heart was engaged with you and not Eliza."

Charlotte closed her eyes and tried to hold back tears. "There was no understanding." she tried to smile convincingly. "I mean he implied there was the hope of an understanding but he never got around to asking."
Esther's brows rose in intrigue.

Charlotte looked nervous. "He was about to ask me at that ball the night of the fire."

Esther's cheeks reddened and she looked ahead catching her children at play. "Henry you little devil, stop teasing Clarissa with that seaweed."

"Ah, I concluded as much. That night was humiliating for me, and devastating for you." she smiled. "Oh my dear, I am so sorry."

Charlotte shrugged. "I am happy, Lady Susan is more than kind, and as her companion, she insists on dressing me in latest fashions and I have learned piano, and a little of the harp but I cannot practice it while we are traveling." she smiled. "I have also learned a little french,"