Don't Look Back

Chapter 46

Slamming the carriage door behind him he stubbornly went to the gentleman gallery down the lane. It was not commonplace for him, and he was sure to not be so widely known there by face or name despite the proximity to his address.

The cards were burning a hole in his pocket and he felt the need to pull them out and study names.

Nearly three days in London and he felt defeated. No closer to any form of a path or chosen resolution. All paths led to some level of ruin, and the current situation wasn't any better.

Being unable to pen a letter to Charlotte that evening he had thrown his pen to the corner and stormed from the place he called home. Desiring to confide in her everything he was thinking and feeling almost overwhelmed him, but he could not... no... would not burden her with his troubles.

It was an all too familiar feeling. Five years before he was also in London seeing no option but the one Eliza offered.

Caged...that is still how he felt.

Eliza was cold, mean-hearted, and conniving. She had never offered him loyalty and he never offered fidelity of his heart either. All he had asked was discretion and no more illegitimate children that he was forced to claim. Flora was his exception and she would only ever be.

Upon entering the establishment he was at least greeted with the pleasant familiar smell of smoke. From a room in the back music was being played on a pianoforte.

Sitting down stiffly in a chair he requested some brandy. A whole bottle.

"If it isn't Mr. Sidney Parker." came a familiar voice. He did not even need to look up to know whom it belonged.

"Sir Denham," he said with a sigh and then threw back his first brandy.

Rounding to face him now Sidney could not avoid seeing the man before himself, dressed better than any dandy.

"May I join you?" his voice slithered.

Wincing he poured himself another and grunted.

Sir Denham took that as acceptance and took the seat beside him. "There are vicious rumors all about London," he said with a mocking tone.

Sidney held back, hovering the glass a moment at his lips. "Careful Sir Denham. I would like nothing more than to bloody my fists at this time."
Sir Denham smirked. "What, bad day?"

Sidney silently drank but just looked across the room in strained, tense silence at the question.

"Come now Parker, it has been what? Five years?" he laughed. "Why I remember as if it was just a week ago when you escorted me most forcefully from the ballroom."

Sidney clenched his jaw. "You will never understand the level of disturbance your scene affected on those in proximity."

Sir Edward Denham leaned back and scoffed loudly. "My scene? You mean the situation my cruel and heartless step sister cast me into." He reached for the bottle but Sidney reached for it himself to stop the man's liberty.

Instead, he poured him a small amount to keep the peace, but still, maintain control of the conversation.

"I have heard the rumors," Edward said lifting his glass.

Rolling his eyes he looked at the man. "Rumors are rumors. What exactly do you think you know?"

The man smiled and wiped at the corner of his mouth delicately with his thumb. "I am afraid I might have a broken nose if I utter it."

Sidney's eyes bored into the man. "What rumors have you heard?" he pressed.

Sir Edward shrugged. "That you are seeking a divorce from your wife and have a list of lovers to present before the courts."

Cursing, Sidney sat forward. "One man..." he spat. "Though he suspected he could drag more than ten before a judge. But that would only further add insult to injury to all involved.

Sir Denham smiled. "One man too many. Doubt you will be awarded a divorce. Few but the nobility can afford such a cost."

Sidney poured himself another brandy glass. "I am not feeling so confident in any of it."

Leaning forward. "Another vicious rumor, no doubt a lie..." he whispered. "But I have even heard it whispered that your daughter might not even be yours." Sir Denham finished with a laugh.

Blood pounding now in his ears, and red filled his vision. Before he knew it his fist had shattered through a glass that was being drunk and shattered pieces of glass and flesh met in such a force that blood mixed.

Taking the man's collar he continued punching until his body was ripped off the man who lay bleeding but stunned by the sudden blow.

"Flora is mine!" he shouted. "Never utter such vile speech again."

Sir Edwards hands were up now and his mocking expression wiped clean off by the face he had maimed.

"Sir, I am going to ask you to leave." a gentleman said to his left.

Nodding, Sidney flexed his hand. "I am going," he growled and turned.

Coming to his apartment a handful of minutes later he entered the establishment to have Mrs. Fielding stop him on the landing.

"Pssst.....Mr. Parker," she whispered.

He wanted to ignore her and stomp on but something about her quiet nature alarmed him. She was normally quite loud and outspoken.

"Yes Mrs. Fielding?" he asked flexing his still bleeding hand.

She cleared her throat. "You have an unexpected visitor tonight. I had to let her in."

Sidney blinked and looked up to his room. "Who?"

The face she returned made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. Not waiting for her reply he took the stair slowly and went to the door and stopped.

Turning the knob he entered.