Don't Look Back

Chapter 41

Charlotte eyed Sidney as she passed him, allowing her to ascend the stair ahead of him.

Upon entering the smaller parlor he stood and sighed raggedly.

"Apologies, I have much on my mind," he said. "I assure you until this morning our meeting was the foremost thing upon it." he hastened to explain.

She put her hand down in front of her to calm him. "Do not over worry yourself on my behalf. Is it Flora?" Charlotte asked concerned.

Sidney shook his head and scratched his stubble he had not managed to have the time to shave that morning.

"No, no...She is well. Playing in fact. Ignorant of her mother's abandonment." he said now with a coldness that chilled even Charlotte.

Blinking, shocked at the news she opened and closed her mouth, struggling to decide if she should say anything.

"Speak your mind. It might ease my anger at this time," he said resting his hands anxiously on his hips.

Moistening her lips she darted her tongue out briefly. "Has she fled with her lover?" she asked feeling more direct than ever about the subject of his wife and the rumors about Sanditon. But still nervous with direct questions.

Sidney shook his head. "No, I have just been from his place of accommodation. I nearly demanded a duel this morning," he replied, dark eyes burning with rage.

Feeling fear for the act she went to him and put her hands upon his chest, Charlotte shook her head.

"No, you mustn't," she said. "Think of Flora." her voice fearful knowing how angry he could be.

Sidney's hands moved to cover hers upon his chest and looked down into her eyes. "I would not give my life to that fool over her... That is exactly what she would want anyway. Probably why she was becoming more open with her actions." he said, his thumb stroking the back of her hand. "To tempt my rage."

Her face was upturned to his, and she was well aware of her sudden and inappropriate proximity.

"Do not fear Miss Heywood. Though in this great frustration this moment, your concern for me brings me momentary pause and..." his voice caught. "and a reminder of how much I have missed."

Charlotte now felt his hand reach up to cup the side of her face. "I am afraid I do not have time to agree upon wage." he sighed and pulled his hand from her and moved away as if ashamed of his brief break in control and show of tenderness.

"I can offer you an advance and perhaps that can cover the time I am away and we can discuss a steady wage when I return." he continued going to his desk.

Charlotte nodded. "If that suits you and your situation. I wish to accommodate Flora," she said feeling a blush creep on. "But, you follow her. Do you know where she has gone?"

He nodded. "Since she is not with her lover I can assume she has gone to London." he answered as he pulled out some banknotes." he looked around. "I know it is not the arrangement agreed, but I do wish Flora to grow used to this place, and staying with Mary will not allow that. She just barely stayed here and she loved the view. Perhaps you could stay here with her while I am away?" he asked.

She blinked and looked pained. "Lady Worcester would advise against it."

Sidney nodded. "Of course."

"But..." Charlotte stopped herself. "You will not be here, so there could be no scandal."

He looked down at the table before him and the papers and nodded.