Don't Look Back

Chapter 37

Eliza glared at her shadow guard who could be found outside the checkered window.

Sidney had been true to his word. He had indeed kept a man on her tail and she had been unable to make a move without being seen and reported on.

It had been half a week and she had not seen her husband though she had politely asked for an audience with him, twice.

It seemed every time she went to call on Trafalgar house they were occupied. Never in the past had she been turned from the door. In fact, all the doors seemed to be closed to her since Sidney's rather public departure from their shared home. It had been all over Sanditon before the break of dawn the next morning.

Thinking it all really very dramatic she thought it would blow over in time when Sidney's temper cooled. But it did not.

Feeling overly hot in the haberdasheries shop she tried to look busy instead of troubled by the judgemental glances spared her direction.

This wasn't to be born. She simply needed to leave for London, and soon. Of course, the scandal would follow her there, but at least not every door would slam in her face. Surely she would still have a friend, and not be followed so closely by Sidney's hired man.

Looking down she thought of her broken dressing table and adornments and decided to order the most expensive things on display. If Sidney wished to play this game, then she would play.

Waving the shop owner to her she smiled. "Yes, I would like to purchase this" she pointed her delicate hand ghosting over things selectively with a glint in her eye. "These." she smiled to a silver comb and brush. "Put it on my husband's account."

The owner frowned. "Mrs. Parker, your husband said you cannot purchase anything on his bill since he is... eh hem." he cleared his throat looking at her with disapproval. "You have pin money I am certain."

She blushed and blustered. "Then on credit."

He shook his head. "I am afraid I cannot, considering the rumors. You could be..." he said with hesitation.

Eliza looked like she would shriek.

"How dare you," she said coldly. "Why we renovated this shop!" she said looking around her.

He nodded. "Yes, and because of that, I cannot go against Mr. Sidney Parkers wishes, since it was he that renovated. I am not sure you were here more than a hand full of days that year." he nodded. "Treated my wife quite rudely, you did." he crossed his arms. "Now is there anything else I can help you with?"

She recoiled at his maintenance of manners though he insulted her to the very core.

Leaving the shop she found the shadow follow her. Suddenly she found him. Her husband in the street just down the lane.

"Sidney!" she shouted and waved hopeful but he did not look up. Perhaps he did not hear.

Looking to her right she saw Lord Sellac and she felt her breath hitch. They had been unable to see each other since that night since he had left that morning without waking her.

He was exiting his carriage and his eyes fell on her in recognition but then looked away almost in disgust. Her cheeks burned. Of course, she was imagining things. He would not look on her thus. He just could not feed the scandal.

Glancing back to her guardian she rolled her eyes and then hurried to try to catch up to her husband.

"Sidney." she again shouted, now causing a scene.

He stopped and his back straightened as if he recognized the voice.

"Eliza," he said as if it tasted harsh and bitter on the tongue.

She shook her head. "Am I not to even see my child?"

He smirked and then followed the expression with a frown. "So that is your angle?" he shook his head. "Madam, Flora is your only card."

Eliza shook her head. "A child is not a card."

He nodded. "I know that."

She glared at him. "I was at the haberdashery and they said I cannot put anything on your account." she nervously blinked up at him.

He nodded. "Until I decide what to do, you have your pin money, that is if you have not exceeded it as you often do."

Looking around them on the street with people not openly watching but trying to gain a piece of the conversation to compare to the other pieces the others overheard. They passed.

"Look at us!" she cried. "I am not received anywhere."

He nodded. "Well, that is by actions of your own making. I do believe I told you years ago I did not appreciate the potential gossip I would suffer. Me..." he scowled. "A cuckold." leaning forward for privacy. "It perhaps is good that in truth I am not, but you are still and always will be a fallen woman." he smiled.

Her glare hurt her own eyes as tears almost sprung.

"So you will pursue divorce?" she asked.

Looking down he swallowed. "The taint of divorce is still a harsh one on a child," he said. "I am still weighing my options. Sending you to the country, or an asylum could be far more preferable..."

Her mouth flew open again to hear the threat of the asylum.

"But to have madness in the family, it's worse than divorce or a fallen mother. But it would satisfy me for the anger I hold against you," he confessed. "But no, do not fear. I will not lock you up in a madhouse," he said and turned. "Is that all Eliza?"

She shook her head. "No...Please," she whispered. "In a few days can we not have tea?" she tried to appeal to reason and calm. Charm even.
He shook his head. "No. I have many engagements at present." he nodded. "Good day Eliza."

Watching him leave she had never felt so utterly dismissed.

Practically stomping her way back to their modest apartments she felt more resentful of it than ever. Not only was she reduced in standing but she did not even have a lofty apartment to retreat to. A place to nurse her slights from a harsh society.

Slamming the door her maid came running.

"Would you like tea Mrs. Parker?" her voice shook.

Eliza nodded. "Yes, and I would also like to send for Dr. Foughs," she said pressing her hand to her head. She felt dizzy and her heart pounded.

The maid simply nodded but did not seem to rush.

"Go!" She demanded frustrated.