Don't Look Back

Chapter 32

Sidney sat in the Crown hotel saloon serious with Babers and Crowe at his side.

"Esther is never going to let me hear the end of it," Babington said as he sipped his ale.

Crowe was not his usual jovial self and even Sidney noticed despite the many topics and emotions weighing his mind.

"You are awfully silent Crowe," he said pouring himself and his friend a shot. Though he indulged now, he was going to cut himself off after this last drink since he intended to see himself through to sunrise.

Potentially their last conversation if she granted it to him. He didn't know what to say, for now, he turned his attention to a friend.

Crowe shook his head. "Mr. Stringer's eyes seem to have shifted."

Sidney sat up straight and glanced to Babington. "You have met the younger Miss Heywood?" he asked.

Crowe nodded. "Yes, that night, and again when I looked in the next day." he sighed. "No matter, better to dodge that bullet, eh?" he laughed looking at Babington's somber face. "A wife just waiting to rub it in your face you lost, and you Mr. Parker...we all know what ails you and it is your wife." he scoffed. "Tis the bachelor life for me."

Babington frowned. "If you like her, we know the Heywood's to be the best sort. I do not suppose you would have any regrets. And as to my Esther... I have no regrets. Just perhaps a little bruised pride she orchestrated a game that outplayed us so...humiliatingly."

Crowe rolled his eyes. "Will if Sidney had not struck out so early we might have not lost morale so early on. It was like we just handed the win to them. It wasn't even a fair game. And Lord Sellac throwing the softest balls at that one girl...." He waved his hand impatiently. "What is her name?"

"Miss Beaufort." Lord Babington sighed. "And Mr. Stringer was throwing softer ones at the younger Miss Heywood, and I think she found it patronizing." he offered.

Mr. Crowe perked up. "You think?" he asked.

Sidney nodded though he reflected that he hardly remembered any other moment of the match besides the moments shared with Charlotte.

"I think you have a chance with the girl if you played your cards right." Babington encouraged.

Crowe shook his head. "You are not just saying that?" he asked.

Sidney smiled. "You ought to get in there before it is too late." he cautioned. "Mr. Stringer is likely of a mind to marry at this juncture and I would wager he would not move slowly this time as he seemed to with Ch-..." he sighed, frustrated that he was still not quite able to say her name openly in public. "I mean the older Miss Heywood. He is no longer just a Laborer's son. He has his own thriving business. Much more to recommend himself to a gentleman's daughter than he had five years ago."

Crowe winced. "I don't have much to show for myself. I waste my fortune regularly."

Babington laughed. "Yes, miraculously you sober up from time to time and win it all back. It's bloody inspiring, is it not Sidney?"

Sidney nodded. "Indeed. I wish I had your luck."

Crowe rolled his eyes.

"What about you Sidney, you struck out and then scuttled off to Miss Charlotte. Daring man..." he whispered. "Of course that was before your Mrs. Parker came back to the gathering."

Sidney glared at the topic being brought up. "I was merely checking in on Miss Heywood. I had not been able to since that night. She seems most recovered."

Crowe's brows rose and he scoffed. "Does she? I thought she looked flustered and avoidant."

Babington looked between the two men seriously.

"She has recovered, has she not?" Babington asked. "My Esther assured me she was well."

Sidney shook his head. "No she is not well, much as I am not," he said through gritted teeth. He wanted to slam his hand against the table. "She feels she will die an old maid and that she has lost all her opportunities at marriage, and family..." he closed his eyes. "Because of me." his voice shook.

"She said all that?" Babington said, his voice almost breathless.

Sidney shook his head. "Yes, but not quite in so many words... I mean, I don't know if she blames me." he looked around, then back to the table morosely. "But I blame myself. I took a gamble, thinking I would have it all, but the woman lied and tricked me."

Crowe frowned. "Miss Heywood tricked you?" his voice conveyed disbelief.

Sidney shook his head. "No, Eliza...She lied. I made a deal with her... and in the end, she trapped me."

Lord Babington leaned in. "How did she trap you?"

Sidney grew frustratingly silent from his friends at the table.

"My friend, why haven't you told us any of this?"

Sidney shook his head. "I have already said too much." he rubbed at his face. "It is not a topic for any company I am afraid."

Crowe squinted his eyes and held his bottle seriously. "What does that spider hold over you that you do not thrice fold?"

Sidney's throat tightened. He could not disagree.

"Send her to the north country," Babington said gruffly. "She is making a mockery of you among the Beau Monde now." he lowered his voice. "Openly it seems."

The temper Sidney was trying to control bubbled and simmered.

"I say this as your friend." Babington pressed. "She is hurting your reputation now, and Flora's...Even Sanditon's eventually."

Clearing his throat he nodded. "It is high time I draw the line with the woman I exchanged worthless vows with. But divorce is out of the question."

Crowe scoffed. "I cannot imagine why." he rolled his eyes. "The woman would be ruined and you would be free to have Miss Heywood."

Shaking his head Sidney blinked. "I do not deserve Charlotte," he closed his eyes. "She deserves better."

Babington leaned forward to whisper. "You chose Eliza to save Sanditon." his voice gentle.

Sidney shook his head. "Yes, and greed." he took a shuddering breath. "I thought I was going to have it all...after a time, God help me."

Both Babington and Crowe waited for elaboration but none was forthcoming.

"I think I will catch a wink here at the crown and make sure I get woken at the right time. I have an appointment early in the morning," he said and stood with a heavy sigh.

Babington and Crowe just looked up at him confused.

Turning as he left he regarded his friends he was leaving at the table. "Crowe, don't miss an opportunity with the younger Miss Heywood. Charlotte spoke very well of her sister and she is likely a good match for you." he turned and left as Sir Radmore and Lord Sellac filed down with Tom and Arthur on the narrow stair.

"Brother, are you not staying to drown our woe's of loss against the women?" Tom asked.

Sidney shook his head. "As you know I am of the drink all too often. I think tonight I shall try to catch a wink of sleep instead before an early rise." He said and turned with a sigh. "Good night Tom, Arthur." he nodded as he passed his fellow teammates as he went upstairs to secure a room and a wake-up call.