Don't Look Back

Chapter 65

Charlotte could barely contain her anxiety as the carriage pulled into the country house owned by Lady Susan. As was with all her address's this one was impressive, but this in ways the others were not. It was more provincial despite its proximity of just an hour's ride to London.

"She slept through the entire night." Lady Susan yawned. "As did you."

Charlotte shook her head. "I do not know how I could have slept a wink," she whispered. With all that is happening."

"It is good you have, for you should dress well and go to the Babington estate early," Susan whispered while Allyson and Flora still slept.

Charlotte shook her head. "But he has no wish to see me."

Lady Susan silently laughed. "Of course he does. Besides, Flora will need her father, and she will need you. He must see that."

Charlotte shook her head. "I am not searching for a proposal. I may love him, but he certainly has enough to contend with."

Susan cocked her head. "Things that will be made easier if he had you at his side."

Wiping a tear, Charlotte shook her head. "I would complicate things. I should just give him space. Could I not return to Willingden for some time?" she asked. "Is it not understandable in these circumstances?"

Lady Susan nodded. "I suppose if you wish to give in. Let the woman win."

Charlotte blinked. "She is dead. If she won, it was long ago, and in the end, it was a loss." she felt utter despair for the woman and what had become of her.

"We are here?" Allyson woke as the carriage slowed.

Lady Susan yawned again. "Yes, and beds await those who need it, and those who don't, I suggest they prepare themselves."

Allyson wiped her eyes groggily. "I suppose that is a hint that I am included to go with my sister."

"Why would you wish to be excused? Lord Babington's estate is lovely." Lady Susan frowned.

Allyson seemed moody about the whole debacle in leaving Sanditon.

Once inside the house, Charlotte shared tea with Allyson privately.

"Why are you so bothered with coming?" she asked.

Allyson shook her head. "It is James, I mean Mr. Stringer," she whispered. "I thought he would be on the brink of an offer, but none has come. I went to try to press him to admit his feelings for me, but he was reserved and still calls me Miss Heywood, maintaining the stiff distance I wish to close."

Charlotte looked at her sister sympathetically. "Have you ended things with your beau back home?"

"Of course, which is why I naturally expected an offer. But none has come, and now I have been taken afar again. Perhaps I will fall out of love with him too." She fidgeted.

"Perhaps you are not in love with any of them." Charlotte offered. "But just feel you must settle."

Allyson blinked. "Charlotte, how could you imagine I don't feel much for James?"

Charlotte worried her lip as she nibbled. "I am sorry to upset you, sister, but you are very changing. The very thing that concerned me in regards to Mr. Parker. He loved Eliza for so long, then me, and then he married her."

"And yet you have come to him instead of just sending Flora." Her sister huffed. "Really, you are one to talk."

Feeling the cold selfishness of those words, Charlotte stood. "Flora has lost her mother, and just a short time ago, we believed it was her father she lost." Her lip trembled. "How can you be so selfish, Allyson?"

Her sister seemed to look up and blinked, now aware of her words and meaning.

"You have acted like a child since you came to Sanditon, and I am not sure you should have come at all. It is no wonder Mr. Stringer has not given offer. He likely senses your changeability, immaturity, and selfishness." Charlotte had enough of her sister. It had been a mistake entirely sending for her.

Her sister looked near to bursting into tears.

"Excuse me," Charlotte left the room and went to find Flora, who was resting more deeply. There she leaned on the doorframe and shook her head.

Wishing to run, but the blond head of that sweet child stopped her. She had lost so much in her little life. Perhaps she never really had a mother, from what she heard. Either way, she would never have the chance now.

"I heard Allyson crying." Lady Susan came to her looking more awake.

Wiping her own weeping eyes, Charlotte nodded. "I was unforgiving and reprimanded her. She was immature and did not wish to be here."

Susan nodded. "I might have acted incorrectly when I sent for her, but I was desperate to keep you with me. You must understand."

Charlotte shook her head. "I am afraid I do not."

Lady Susan put her hand to Charlotte's cheek. You were always so brave, but you have not allowed yourself to open again when it comes to love. I hoped to help you bury that before letting you go." She confessed. "I wanted you to leave me in love, not heartbreak. Otherwise, I would have failed you.

Taking her dear friend's hand from her face, Charlotte squeezed. "You are not responsible for my happiness."

"Oh, but I am," Susan whispered. "I took it upon myself to resolve your heartbreak, and it has been an impossible feat, my dear. But we are so close. Please, don't lose heart."

"We are so changed. These circumstances, they would change anyone."

"Sidney loves you." Susan protested.

Charlotte shook her head. "But he did not wish me to come. Maybe Allyson is right. We brought Flora. I will take her but not see him."

"We have come all this way. Both literally and figuratively. How can you turn back now and run?" Susan asked.

Charlotte shook her head. "Because I must. This feels opportunistic. As if I were waiting in the wings."

Susan shook her head. "I understand. I will arrange both Allyson's and your return to Willingden."

Charlotte felt sure now as she looked back to Flora. "She needs her father, not a woman waiting to fill her mother's place."

Crossing her arms, she looked to the room she had also left, thinking of Allyson. Her sister needed more stability as well, and a better example shown.