Don't Look Back

Chapter 6

A brooding dark figure stomped the newly cobbled surface as the lanterns were tended on the corners and the passers on the street knew to step aside to avoid the volatile man.

Mr. Sidney Parker stormed into the night along the familiar streets he helped build with an ache awakened and spreading through him.

Finding a leaning pile of lumber he shoved it over in his frustration. Had all this been worth it, he wondered as the items loudly fell to the ground causing some to look out their windows to see what the fuss was about but he did not slow and trudged on.

Knocking hard on a familiar door he let the pounding echo through the house.

He could hear his brother flustered on the other side of the door.

"What could it be at this hour. There better not be a fire." said the familiar voice as the door opened.

"Oh, Sindey! What a-" Tom started.

Sidney looked impatient as he looked around him. "Cut the pleasantries, Tom, this is not a social call." his voice bit coldly. "How could not tell me she was here?" he paced out of the entrance as he anxiously tried to express his frustration. "How could you keep that from me?"

Mary popped in. "Tom! What is all this about?"

Tom blinked confused in just his shirt and braces and trousers. "I haven't the foggiest notion my dear," he replied and tried to think. "She... She who?" he asked.

Sidney groaned and stopped where he stood. "Miss Heywood of course."

Mary was the most stunned of the two. "Charlotte is here? In Sanditon?" she felt excitement but then some confusion and hurt passed over her eyes.

"Upon my word brother, if she is here this is the first I am hearing of it." he swallowed, still trying to understand why his brother was ranting about a girl none of them had seen for five years.

Sidney still paced. "You swear?" he asked still agitated and ready to explode.

"Come inside Sidney, before someone sees you out here," she said thinking of how it looked.

Pushing past the door Sidney went to the study. "Why is she here?" he muttered and felt like he was losing his mind.

"What is all the fuss over Miss Heywood?" Tom asked and looked at his wife.

Sidney looked up and realized in his effort to bury her from all verbal thought and now it just spilled out of him. "I can't believe you never realized," he said with a sigh and leaned on the mantle.

"Charl-" Emotion caught in his throat as he was about to say her name for the first time in years but caught himself. "Miss Heywood and I had an under-" he winced. "We almost had an understanding." he corrected himself. His eyes were very dark from the firelight casting shadows.

Mary's hand went to her mouth in shock as she sat down on the pink upholstered chair.

Tom still confused stepped forward. "An understanding? That was when you and Eliza-"

Sidney scoffed and nodded. "Don't be daft Tom, I had no feelings for her then...we needed a lot of money," He looked down regretfully referencing a time no one spoke of anymore.

With Sanditon thriving Tom's idea did manage to take off, but for Tom, there had been little profit, however for Sidney it had been significant.

The truth was Tom was fortunate that the investment had been able to recover enough that the saving investors still made a tidy profit, just not himself.

"Wait, I know that the marriage has had its difficulties, but there is Flora and you positively adore her," Tom said seriously.

Sidney nodded. "She has been the only solace in the bargain made for the good of the family, but she too came at a price."

Mary shook her head. "I should have known." she swallowed her cheeks burning.

Sidney glanced at her.

"I was so foolish back then," she confessed. "Charlotte wrote to me quite often after the end of the season, but right when I started asking her to come back for the following summer her letters were full of excuses, then they came less and less." she stood. "I never understood what had happened. I think I do now..." she looked up. "I fear it was all so very badly done."

Tom shook his head. "That does not explain why you are on my doorstep at near midnight about Charlotte. It has been five years, surely there is nothing now between you."

Mary gasped. "Don't be so foolish Tom, Sidney could very well still love her. And she him."

Sidney looked to Mary and winced. He did still love her, at least who she had been then. There was no telling who she was now. She could have also been a figment of his imagination like Eliza had been. It had been so long he did not know. All he understood was he was absolutely turned around at the moment.

Scratching his stubble Sidney shook his head. "I am not sure she was quite on the same level I was." He smiled in nostalgic reflection. "She disapproved of me most of the time."

Mary shook her head. "I am sure not."

Sidney shrugged. "It would have only been fair. I disapproved first." he sighed heavily feeling fully ashamed of his reaction tonight. Stepping to the side he bowed his head. "I will be off. I have bothered you enough for this night," he said seriously.

Tom stepped fast and stopped him at the door. "Sidney, do you know with whom Charlotte is staying with?" he asked.

Sidney nodded. "She has been the Lady Worcesters companion for some time." He put on his hat. "You manage the letting of the apartments, which one is it?" he asked.

Tom turned and went to his stack of papers. "Mr. Stod's took it down here. She took grand-view. Among the best, we have to offer."

Sidney recalled the Grandview Terrace. It had been his design. An arrangement in cooperation with the vision of Mr. Stringer. Eliza had wanted to live in one of the four lavish apartments there for when they were in town but Sidney had refused, determining those should be reserved for the other wealthy that would come, and it had been a sore point for the woman. She refused to come out besides for the necessary events. She had done so even despite Sanditon's growing popularity. But leaving a luxury Sanditon house vacant nearly two-thirds of the year was silly.

Exiting Trafalgar House his steps had slowed as his feet led him to Grandview Terrace. His eyes lighted on the large brightly lit windows and he could hear the faint sound of laughter as the second-floor balcony doors were flown open wide. Standing a moment he tried to hold his breath for any audible queue. There he heard it, mixed with that of two other feminine voices that drifted out into the street. He could not make out the conversation but he recognized the laugh and it made his heart hammer all the harder.