Don't Look Back

Chapter 66

Sir Radmore found himself watching Georgiana cross the green that morning. She was troubled, but he did not have the general courage to go out and see what was bothering her.

After their evening together and what they had witnessed, they knew they were able to point the finger at Lord Sellac. However, they still did not have enough evidence than both of their accounts, and her being a woman, though rich, and her skin color brought shades of doubt into the inquisitor's mind. Paired with their lack of decorum in having a chaperone in the first place.

She never seemed to care about her reputation, but he did, and this was likely to ruin her.

"Sidney said he would venture from his room today and sit on the veranda. Do you think you could set his chair up with a table? I do think he may wish some company too." Crowe rubbed at his temples. "But I am afeared it should not be me. I'm too hungover to keep going."

"He still wallowing?" Radmore had not taken his eyes of Georgiana.

Crowe nodded. "He fears this scandal will ruin Flora's future, Sanditon's prospects, and his hopes in regards to Miss Heywood."

With a sigh, Radmore turned. "The bottle is not going to offer the solutions he seeks."

Crowe nodded. "Aye, I know this, but it does offer escape for a span."

Leaving him, he went out and fetched the chair, and as he did, Georgiana approached him.

"Radmore," she whispered.

He shook his head. "No," he said sharply.

She gaped. "No?" she asked.

He nodded. "Yes,"

Blinking, she scoffed. "No, what? You don't even know what I was about to ask."

He shrugged. "I don't care. I tire of being played with like a toy." he fluffed a pillow.

"Why do you set up a chair?" Her question persisted.

"Is that really why you came to speak?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No, but I just don't know what to say," she replied.

He nodded. "I know. Which is why I am through."

Shaking her head, she was unsure what she was hearing. "Through?"

He nodded. "I don't need your handouts. I don't need your wealth."

Georgiana seemed bowled over by that statement.

"Yes, you do. Your uncle, Lord Barnes, expects you to have not wasted your fortune, and if he knows, he will not leave you a dime." Her warning did not affect him.

"So?" he took a heavy breath. "I did not wish money. If I did, I would not have gambled the first fortune away so foolishly. I wished to escape that I had no one and nothing." he raised his voice. "I wanted to escape that I found no one to love."

Her eyes widened in surprise at the confession spilling from his mouth.

"I wanted to gain my fortune so that I would have half a chance with you." he shook his head. "I see that is not possible. You will always think I am a fortune hunter or a rake. Or prefer me to be a rake." he laughed with a disgusted tone.

"I don't think that." she defended herself.

"Don't you?" he asked. "I do not know. You trust no man." Radmore accused. "Though you loved him, I do think you would not trust your father today if he were alive."

"Don't speak of my father," she warned.

"Why?" he asked. "Is he too a sore spot for you?"

She glared at him. "I loved my father."

He shrugged. "You may, but you also hate him for making Mr. Parker your guardian and not leaving you in Antigua."

She shook her head. "You don't know anything about me."

"And I will never," he said, finishing with the task of the chair.

Her frown deepened when he turned without excusing himself.

"Wait, what do you mean?" she called after him.

He waved his hands up in frustration. "You will never accept me." Radmore did not see the crushed expression on her face.

"What does this mean?" she asked.

"You mean for the Crown Hotel?" he asked and turned now, noting the tears in her eyes, and he wished to go and soothe them from her face.

She nodded.

"It's yours." he laughed. "I was only the face, remember."

"Well, I need a face!" she called after him.

He threw up his hands. "Find another man. I quit."

"But I thought you wished Sanditon to be your new home, your new start?" she tried.

He stopped at the doorway. "I did, but then I realized you could not learn to love or trust me. And I could not have a possible bastard that you would have the means and ability to keep me from." he laughed. "This is why I would not lie with you. I want children, and even bastards are worth the love of their parent."
She looked aghast at his continuous flow of confession.

"You would want that?" she asked.

He rolled his eyes. "I need to pack."

Leaving her, he went to his room and paced irritably. He did not wish to give up on all he and she worked for, but he would.

Going to his bag, he got his paperwork in order. He would need to go to Sanditon and be sure everything was organized for Miss Lambe as he would think of her henceforth, once again.

A light knock came on the door, and he went to it with a deep breath.

Wide brown eyes met his.

"Don't leave me," she whispered. Her eyes were awash with tears, but still, she bravely reached for Sir Radmore and pressed her lips to his.

"I will not have a bastard with you," he said and pushed her back.

She nodded. "Do you love me?" she asked.

He looked away. "I am not sure you would believe me if I said yes."

She shook her head. "I wouldn't." pulling him back to her mouth, she kissed him harder this time, but he pulled back.

"But you agree to marry me?" he asked. 'I don't give two figs for the money. I won't touch a dime if you prefer to run things."

"Radmore?" she whispered. "Yes."

He blinked and shook his head. "What?"

"Now kiss me."

The door slammed behind her, and she was taken to his bed that was covered in things being prepared to leave.

The agreement was sealed with the sound of the door.