Don't Look Back

Chapter 9

Coming to the balcony Sidney heaved a great shuddering sigh of relief that no one was already there. Stepping out to the railing he saw the scene before him and took a moment to just marvel at seeing her for the first time in so long he had stolen breath.

Looking down he had a good vantage of how she seemed familiar still with Mr. Stringer and how her eyes lit up when leaned down to speak with her.

Even under the chandelier, the candlelight cast her pink youthful apple cheeks in an alluring glow and not in the way of painted ladies. On her, it was a natural manifestation of her beauty. She had not aged. He shook his head. That was because she was still young where he was just a miserably settled middle-aged man.

A fool for the bargain he had made.

Turning his attention to his wife he found her looking displeased with her Lord Sellac leaving her to join another group. His heart hammered realizing that his wife's current lover had noticed Charlotte...his Charlotte.

He could not stop the acquaintance from being formed. His hand slammed against the railing and he felt the impact and inwardly cursed and turned his back on the throng wishing his life had gone anyway but the way it had.

He looked at the space before him. He had stood there two times before with her, and both had been so profound to them both. He had hurt her there and intended to rewrite the memory with his proposal. Change the memory by offering her his heart and all that was.

The fates had been cruel, and it seemed they did not smile upon their union and so saw fit to prevent it at every turn.

One thought, one person turned his thoughts from regret.... Flora, he had to think about her. Leaving the balcony he turned from having to endure watching Charlotte dance with another. Not when he could still feel her in his arms when they had last danced. How he had not wished to let her go of her hand and held her closer than the song accommodated, but then he looked up and his eyes had met Eliza's and in a single instant his path was laid, and it was away from her though at the time he hadn't known it.

He bumped into a stranger as he made his way outside to the terrace. He needed to clear his head and calm this uncontrollable angst that he found himself drowning in.

—

Charlotte had seen him on the balcony with his back turned. Somehow that only served to worry her more. He was noticeably troubled to see her and it should not be so difficult. He was a married man and she was happy as she was.

Taking a glass of champagne that was offered she drank it readily.

"Oh well my dear, I would slow myself or abstain completely. Honestly, you could be mistaken for an ale woman." Lady Burell fanned herself and gave her a disapproving look.

Charlotte blushed and entirely forgot that Lady Susan had excused her nerves on account of having something to drink before arriving.

Charlotte shook her head. "Just thirsty." she sighed and put the glass down now empty and turned with a gasp to find Tom, and Mary before her. Tom bowed formally to Lady Susan and LadY Burell, while Mary curtsied and exchanged a nervous glance her way.

"Lady Worcester, Lady Burell, wonderful to have you both in Sanditon," he said warmly and turned to Charlotte. "And Miss Heywood, Sanditon is honored with your long-overdue return. You have been sorely missed."

Charlotte bowed her head and smiled appreciating his gallantry and good manners.

"We wish to renew our acquaintance with you, Miss Heywood," he said and looked to his wife. "I know that it is among the greatest wishes of my wife."

Charlotte smiled and nodded. "I would too very much wish that."

Mary smiled. "How long are you to be in Sanditon?"

Lady Worcester fanned herself. "I do believe we will be here the entire season." She said watching the exchange with rapt interest.

Upon that news, Mary looked at Tom happily. "Oh, we are so glad to hear it."

Mr. Stringer looked at her and smiled. "Would you do me the honor of this dance Miss Heywood?" he asked her just as another face joined their group. Lord Sellac paying homage to Lady Worcester he assumed.

Charlotte nodded. "Of course Mr. Stringer, It would please me greatly," she said taking his offered hand.

Passing another platter of champagne she took it and gulped while Mr. Stringer suppressed a laugh.

"I thought you could use the escape." He said.

She nodded as he took the now empty glass from her.

"Is it true that you drank before coming here?" he asked as they took their places.

She blushed and shook her head. "I was nervous about meeting the Parkers again. I am afraid I have not been a good friend."

He nodded. "Sometimes it is hard to look back, I struggled coming back here after being in London. But I am glad I did."

Charlotte laughed. "Why?"

He looked up charmingly. "Well I would not have run into you if I hadn't." he smiled.

She laughed. "We could have met in London."

He scoffed. "I may be more of a gentleman now, but do not mistake me for one of the club. I don't often move among the higher echelon unless I am working for them."

She looked down sad that even with his success he still had to fight for his right to be there.

"That is a terrible pity," she said as they continued their conversation. "Thank you for pulling me away just then. It is hard to say what is necessary with so many people watching.

Georgiana arrived with Sir Radmore and fanned herself as she looked for the fire that she expected. Sure she missed it as she watched Charlotte dance with Mr. Stringer.

"I see your friend Miss Heywood is already partnered with Mr. Stringer. Aren't they the fine pair?" Sir Radmore observed.

Georgiana rolled her eyes and turned from him. "You only say that because I warned you to stay away from her. She isn't a plaything." she chided him.

He laughed. "Who said anything about playing?" he asked. "But she does look the thing in that dress does she not?"

Rolling her eyes she finished the gesture off with a frustrated side glance. "I have seen her hurt before and I never saw her again. I will not see it happen a second time. I am warning you or I will tell your uncle the truth about our dealings." she leveled the threat. "Stay away from Charlotte Heywood..." she enunciated. "Do you understand?"

He nodded. "I heard you the first time."

She looked him up and down. "I have little confidence in your hearing."

He leaned in and whispered. "Come now Miss Lambe, we are business partners and friends are we not?"

Looking at him she cocked her head. "I would not call our relationship a partnership, more like, puppeteer," she gestured to herself, "and puppet." she pressed her index finger into his chest. "You get to look like you actually have some value, while I don't tarnish my reputation by owning a hotel or gentlemen's club. It works for both of us, but do not forget. You are on my payroll."

Sir Radmore blushed and flashed her a smile. "I have not forgotten, I just thought you would have more grace than to speak it so harshly. Playing the game of society is important which is why I am on your payroll...lest you forget that.

She glared at him. "I hate you most days, you know that?" she asked.

Sir Radmore laughed. "Yes, but you seem to hate everyone at some time or another. The fact that you hate me most days means you think of me often and that is flattery in the extreme miss Lambe."

She huffed as he took her hand to lead her to the dance floor.