Don't Look Back

Chapter 33

Charlotte pondered the day's events. It was not just her interaction with Sidney which knotted her up. It was the illusion of or to an alliance between Lady Denham and Lady Susan which got her confused and concerned. Two such powerful women together could wreak some utter havoc on Sanditon and the general peace if they thought they knew better.

"Did you see Charlotte, Mr. Stringer wore my colors?" Allison said carefully. Her cheeks blushed and her mouth pulled and the corners in an eager smile, but she was nervous as the welcome of the subject.

Nodding to her sister she sighed. "He seemed to pay you particular attention."

Her sister frowned. "Oh Charlotte, we cannot possibly be in love with the same man!" she said dramatically.

Charlotte scoffed and stood at the preposterous statement and went to her nightcap.

"In love, with Mr. Stringer?" she shook her head. "I am jealous, yes." she smiled sweetly. "You get to be free and open in your flirtations, but I am not in love with Mr. Stringer. And prey sister, tell me you are not in love so soon yourself!" she accused. "And still a young man back in Willingden, a Mr. Conride believes you think the world of him and only are visiting your sister in Sanditon, not falling in love with a successful architect." she sighed. "Poor man."

Allison shook her head. "Don't speak of him. It just makes me feel awful." she pouted, her glee and giddiness quite diminished. "He really is a good man, but to ignore Mr. Stringer...would be to snub the attentions of a man with far more to offer."

Charlotte frowned but nodded. "So you do not love Mr. Conride?"

Allison seemed to struggle for a moment. "I mean... I really thought perhaps I loved him. He was quite handsome as far as men I knew in Willingden. But now I am here, and I suppose I would be remiss if I just not scan the field as I believe Lady Susan would say."

Charlotte nodded in agreement. Lady Susan would likely say something very like that. And Mr. Stringer, though he was not a gentleman he was a man of means now. And would be a wise choice for her sister.

"If you love him, then I support it. Mr. Stringer has known some real heartbreak and perhaps there is a chance I was a small part of it. But I just wish his happiness, and for him to really find love." Charlotte sat down on the bed sipping her drink.

Allison frowned. "What about me Charlotte?"

She turned and shook her head. "What do you mean?"

Alison looked hurt and irritated. "You have all this care for him and his feelings, but yet you say yourself he had feelings for you. Maybe he even loved you." Her sister's eyes shimmered in tears. "Maybe he won't ever feel quite the same for me. Maybe he only looked at me because he feels he cannot truly have you?"

Her eye dropped the trail of a tear and Charlotte realized she wasn't thinking about her sister at all. She had assumed it was just a minor flirtation and was only worried about Mr. Stringer's feelings that she had not even given a second's thoughts to how her sister might feel in the same situation.

"Oh, Allison," she turned. "I am so sorry." she closed her eyes and sighed. I cannot seem to think right nowadays. Of course, that would be awful and I don't want that for you. I want your feelings both to be returned in equal measure. I want your both to be mad in love and no obstacles standing in either of your ways." she tried to soothe but Allison seemed resistant and took the nightcap and drank it in one go.

"You talked to him today." Allison changed the subject.

Charlotte shook her head and shrugged. "Yes, we talked..." she rolled her eyes. "It is what polite people do at events."

Allison shook her head in disbelief. "I always know when you lie."

Charlotte rolled her eyes. "I am tired."

Allison slowly lifted herself from her bed. "Fine, fine... You must be planning an early morning bathing excursion..." she turned and blinked. "Want me to come with you?"

Charlotte groaned. "No, but I was planning on taking a long walk to Brighton. Perhaps you might join me on that," she said sarcastically.

Allison chuckled and smiled. "I still need to sea bathe. I haven't gotten the chance yet."

Pulling her bed covers back Charlotte nodded remembering her first time. It was with Clara and she had thought her a friend though she had never heard from the woman again.

"Early morning is the coldest and I am sure you may never jump in again if that is your first immersion." She concluded. "Perhaps a little later in the day. It would not do to catch a chill."

"You are not happy with me or my coming here at all, are you?" Allison asked.

Charlotte sighed. "Of course I am. I missed you."

Allison shook her head. "It hasn't felt like it."

Charlotte felt tears burn in her eyes as the door closed as her sister left with heavy parting words.

Lady Susan had overheard the conversation from the hallway and put her hand to her lips in thought as she hid in the shadow.

The old cook came up the stair and nodded at Miss Allison. "Have a good sleep Miss Heywood."

Allison nodded and tried to smile. "You as well, Mrs. Claudet."

The cook passed by Lady Susan and knocked on the door and opened her room. "My lady?"

Susan stepped from the shadows. "Right here Claudet" she whispered.

The old cook gasped as she turned. "Saints be, you weren't there just a moment ago!" the woman said breathlessly with a fright.

Lady Susan rushed into her room.
"I was hiding in the curtain you superstitious old crone." she tapped her sweet old cook on the nose. "Calm your withers or your heart will give out, and then who will make Mrs. Claudet's best tarts?"

The old cook clutched at her chest. "Why were you hiding in your own shadow's my lady?"

Susan went to her mirror and sat down to brush out her curls. "To gauge the damage I have done and the damage to come from my actions," she said seriously. "Why ever else?"

"Miss Charlotte going to be alright?" Mrs. Claudet asked.

Lady Susan looked up from her dressing table to see her cook through the reflection of her looking glass. "I believe she will, if she is but willing to take some risks she might not be willing to for proprieties sake." she looked down to her wrist. "The man who loves her will need to be willing to take even bigger risks than she, but it is not in my power to make them leap of they will not. Only thing that could be done was lead them to the cliff and hope they jump."