Don't Look Back

Chapter 72

 With a heavy heart Charlotte prepared her things. Lady Susan told her to and that she would know where she was going when they were in the carriage.

Sidney had acted like he had things to tell her but she didn't know if she could stomach any of it right then. From what Lady Susan said without the assistance and witness of Georgiana and Sir Radmore Sidney had a very difficult case to prove.

Her door opened and it was Sidney.

"Apologies. I was knocking." He said.

"Sidney." She said and went to him. He was standing there alone. "How did you get here."

"I bribed Flora." He said. "Then I bribed her to leave me here. I also wanted her to be very quiet." He smiled and reached out for her face. "May I come in."

"Are you certain that is a good idea." Charlotte looked up and down the hall. No one lurked.

"I will not touch you if you do not wish. I have serious topics to discuss with you." His hand went down to her shoulder then her arm. "I have honorable intentions, even if they prove to take a dishonorable turn in the end."

Charlotte smiled and led him in before closing the door.

"Do you really think Flora can keep a secret like leading you to my room?" Charlotte questioned him as she led him to a chair.

He refused. "I know I can't see but I cannot sit when I tell you this."

She nodded and let him be.

"Charlotte." He reached for her again. "Dearest. I must tell you something."

Charlotte was afraid.

"When I first married Eliza, I didn't know what I was getting myself into. We only slept together enough for her to attempt to pass off an early babe as mine but Flora is not my child."

Backing up she stumbled. "Oh heavens, that can't be."

"I am afraid it is so." Sidney replied and wished he could see her face. "I have wanted to tell you for so long that Eliza and my marriage was never a real one."

He didn't see how her eyes filled with tears.

"She is your daughter." She argued. "You love her."

He nodded. "Of course I have raised her, a loved her as if she was my own. She was the only light I had in all these years, but my love, I am not her father."

"Well that matters not a whit." She wiped her eyes. "She must never hear such nonsense.'

He chuckled. "You don't care?"

Stopping she looked at him confused. "Care, why should I care? She is wonderful, bright child who deserves a wonderful future. We cannot look at her as if she isn't yours."

Smiling through his own misty eyes he nodded. "My sentiments entirely. When we begin our life she is our child."

Charlotte sighed. "We may not be able to."

He stood. "What do you mean?"

"You have a difficult battle ahead and we know better than anyone how obstacles can derail ones hopes." She replied.

"But you could carry my child." He followed her voice and reached for her.

She shook her head. "I will be alright. I want you to concern yourself with your own matters."

"A child is my matter." He protested. "It is our matter."

She looked away. "It is unlikely with so few encounters."

His hand came to her neck and he kissed her. "Would that we had enough of them."

"We should not play with fire again."

He nodded. "Lady Susan has a lot of plans for how to settle all of this should my former ward and her business partner never surface."

"I do hope they are alright." Charlotte sighed. "They must be struck with madness."

He nodded. "Madness I might understand too well. Would that we could be struck the same way. I wish we would have stayed going north when we chased down Georgiana.

"What a notion. We could hardly be in the same room."

"I wanted you then. You do not want to know the salacious thoughts I had of you." He whispered as he nibbled at her neck.

"Maybe I do." She challenged.

"That will lead to this bed behind you." He warned her.