Don't Look Back

Chapter 69

Lady Susan smiled as she watched the two Heywood women over dinner that evening. The Babington's had insisted they all stay over, and so they did at Lady Susan's prompt acceptance.

Charlotte could not miss the smug expression on her benefactor's face that seemed to say, I told you so.

But that evening, Mr. Crowe came to her and asked her for help. That Sidney liked to be read to in the evenings now that his sight was compromised.

"But it isn't seemly," she whispered.

"Well, what is?" he asked. His eyes shifted around as if looking for someone. "I think he would prefer your company to mine. Besides, I have not been able to locate Georgiana all day, or Sir Radmore."

She shook her head. "I should not, Not without a chaperone."

He chuckled. "Come now, Miss Heywood. We are all grown, and I am sure you can control yourself around an invalid not to take advantage."

She gasped at the implication.

He laughed.

"What a vile thing to say," Allyson said, peeking her head out the door. "Of course, such a crude comment would come from you."

He seemed to pink around the ears. "My apologies. I meant no disrespect. Your sister and I are old friends."

Allyson did not look convinced. "Are you?"

He leaned on the wall.

"Yes," he laughed. "Why if it had not been for Sidney, I do believe I might have courted your sister myself. I do find the Heywood women to be so attractively spirited." He chuckled. "Some more than others."

Charlotte's eyes widened as she grew to understand what Mr. Crowe was confessing, and she wondered how her sister was going to react to this. She knew how inconsistent Allyson was in her feelings. But it also struck with how Crowe seemed to be his usual playful self. However, the message seemed more grounded in truth than drink-fueled flirtation.

"If that was an overture, then you are a bumbling fool," Allyson said after a moment and shut the door.

He turned back to Charlotte. "Seems I am no Shakespeare or Byron." He scoffed and leaned against the doorframe as he seemed to reel from the interaction with her sister.

"Are you in love?" she asked with a quizzical expression.

He sighed. "I can't speak of such a vexing emotion. I am heartily embarrassed of myself enough as it is."

Looking to the closed door across the way, she blinked.

"She still walking out with Stringer?" he asked under his breath. His voice seemed strained.

"She was, but he has made no offer," Charlotte told him. "I am not certain he will."

"He is still quietly in love with you." Crowe sighed. "Marrying your sister would put him too close to you and always comparing. And with you, there is yet hope," he whispered.

"Hope?" Charlotte asked.

He nodded. "You are still unmarried. Verging on spinster."

She rolled her eyes. "Really, I'm a spinster now?"

He nodded. "Almost." Cocking his head in the direction of Sidney's room. "Come now, Miss Heywood. If you must, I am sure a servant will sit with you to lend respectability." he handed over the book, and she took it reluctantly.

"Well, alright."

She knew where his room was as Flora insisted on sitting with him after dinner, and Charlotte had found it quite strange to sit with them. In a matter of months, they could be a family. Her fingers in Flora's hair, she wondered if she would accept her as a mother.

Knocking on his door, he called for it to open.

"It's me," she whispered so as not to alert everyone in the house that she was present with him.

"Charlotte?" He went to stand from the bed, but she put out her hand as if he could still see her.

"No need to get up. Mr. Crowe sent me to read," she said, coming to sit at the end of the bed.

He scoffed. "That devil. And you came with no chaperone?" he asked, trying to sense if another came in with her.

"No," she confessed nervously.

He smiled. "Miss Heywood?"

She giggled and opened the book and found it was already marked.

"There is no shame to take of your tunic," she began without realizing the topic she read, but the following passage made her voice falter mid-sentence. "And put your thighs upon a man's thigh,"

"Charlotte," Sidney's voice broke her strained cut one. "Did Crowe also give you that book, or are you trying to seduce me?"

She blushed. "Shall I continue, Ovid, is it?" Her stomach flipped as she thought about thighs pressing against thighs, and memory thought buried surged forth, as he had many years ago from the sea.

"Not unless you enjoy seeing me embarrass myself." he laughed. "Come, I would touch have you closer."

She moved to the bed, and he reached, searching for her, and soon he found her side as he had in the boat. His hand now splayed there.

"I should not take the liberty." he pulled his hand back as if burned, but she surprised even herself when she hungered for his touch again.

"I thought I would never be kissed or touched like that again." Her hand found his face, which looked restrained.

His body shook.

"Charlotte," his voice was a whisper. "You must go, or I could not be a gentleman."

She leaned down only a breath from him.

"Do you know Ovid?" she whispered in teasing question.

He nodded.

"Bury your tongue between crimson lips." She could hardly believe the words left her own.

He shook under her hands. "Passion comes from love in a thousand ways, do not let your pleasant words cease."

The air had become hot and heavy in the space between the two of them as she felt his anxious wait for her reply.

She knew what came next, and knowing it by heart was telling enough. His near-death and blinding was enough loss to their five years apart. It was risky, bold, and everything she had been raised against, but she was not about to lose this chance.

Her hand went to his lips, and he instinctively moved his mouth in response to her finger.

"Let the bed shake with licentious movement." Her answer was quiet, only a whisper, but he heard it.

The tether that bound Sidney snapped, and he pulled her to him, and the innocence of their relationship shed from them as they tore at each other.

Though he could not see her, for this, all he needed was to feel. It did not steal the joy of his fingers knowing her first as his hands found her rounded breasts now bare against his chest. His hands explored as their kisses deepened their purpose.

Stiff and throbbing, he dragged his head to hers. "I can wait." he gasped.

Charlotte could feel the tears in his eyes fall on her, and they mixed with her own, and her hips rolled. Jumping over the line and he moved against her wetly.

"Charlotte, I can't restrain if you move against me like that." he moved in deeper, and she moaned in his ear, causing him to attempt to fight the physical pull.

"Let the bed shake." She challenged him but then wanted to hide her face from the wanton comment.

Groaning, he sank into her and did as commanded no less than two times that evening and once before dawn.

Slipping from his room, Charlotte felt ashamed, afraid, and elated, stealing back into her chamber before anyone else was up. She thought of how she should have brought a servant, but with a wide grin, she could not suppress the desire to stay another night.

Perhaps it would be too unseemly.