Never Expect The Unexpected: MERDER AU

Chapter 2

"Shep!" The chief shouted at the man as he tried to discreetly walk past his office.

"Richard, I was just heading out. Long night."

"Not so fast," he patted his desk as a way of telling him to come in, "how did it go with Irene?"

"Who?" He had zero notion of who he was referring to.

"From the date?"

"Oh Eileen, yes her um, she was great."

"Irene Derek. Her name is Irene," he shook his head disappointedly. The amount of women he'd gone on blind dates with in the past month was absurd. How in the hell did Richard expect him to remember each name on top every patient and case, which was a thousand times more important than some woman who he didn't even want to go out with.

"I'm sorry chief it's, been a long day."

"I don't think you understand what I meant when I told you that you needed to settle down with someone. I thought that surgery was everything, running this hospital to my greatest abilities while my wife ran out on me."

"Richard, with all due respect." He protested but was shut down immediately.

"No! I didn't teach you everything that I know for you to throw it all away. You're a good surgeon, intelligent man, and you're gonna do a great job taking over this place, but it's not going to matter if you have no one to love you, a person who...sticks by your side. Do you hear me?" He glared at the man encouragingly.

"Yes sir," Derek nodded his head, soaking up everything the man who raised him was demanding.

"Go home, get some rest." Richard shooed him away and returned to filling out forms.

"Quick question? Who is the woman that you instructed to scrub in with me this afternoon? Blonde, short, Debby downer?"

"Grey. Meredith Grey she's uh..." he paused when he recognized the look on his face. "No. She's not right for you, that girl isn't the marrying type. Find someone else Derek."

"Wha- I wasn't. I don't, I just wanted to know her name Richard," He shook his head and opened the office door. "Goodnight."

Why was he so adamant that he stay away from her? She couldn't possibly be that much of a challenge. Nothing was too great of a challenge Derek Shepherd. At least that's what he told himself.

00

Another date that ended with Derek feeling less lonely than he did before it started. Another woman picked by the Chief to meet him at a restaurant where they shared tiny details about their boring lives and ordered expensive dishes with rounds of alcohol to make it bearable. One more woman that he had to let down easy when they called asking for a second date; second dates lead to sex and Derek wasn't looking for that. Pointless sex was never a thing that he was seeking.

"Are you sleeping?" Her snappy voice pulled him out of his daydream and he realized his location. He looked up to be greeted by her scowl as he sat in the spinning chair.

"If I was I'm not anymore."

"Long night? Another date?" She asked not caring to hear the answer.

"No." He lied and she cocked her head. "Yes. It's getting to be too much. I think I should just tell Richard that I can't keep doing this. But what if he refuses to give me the job? He wouldn't do that...would he?" He looked up to see that she was halfway down the hallway. "Hey!"

"I stopped listening to you thirty seconds ago. I don't have time to stand and listen to you ramble." She sped past coworkers as he followed intently behind her.

"Then it's a good thing we're walking. Seriously, I need some advice." The helplessness in his voice was her weakness as a doctor; she felt obligated to help him.

"You want my advice?" She stopped walking and turned to see him nodding his head eagerly like a confused puppy. "Richard can't set you up on dates if you're already seeing someone." With that being said she turned again to continue walking.

"Wait! So you're saying if I have a girlfriend, I won't have to go out with random women every night and I could still get the job?"

"Congratulations, your comprehension skills are at the range of a toddler's," she sighed and looked down at her clipboard as they waited for an elevator.

"Great! But how am I gonna find that?" He thought to himself. Out loud. For several minutes while they stood there waiting, and while they were on the elevator.

"You don't have to," she was annoyed at his stammering, "It doesn't have to be a real relationship. You just have to make Richard believe that it is."

"How do I do that?" He furrowed his brows.

"Are you an idiot? You're a top shot surgeon, you can get anyone to be your fake girlfriend at the snap of your fingers."

"So you do know who I am?" He smirked.

"Don't flatter yourself, everyone knows who you are. The brainless brain surgeon who's only friend is his adoptive father, also known as the chief." She rolled her eyes and glanced at him as the elevator doors opened for someone who'd pressed the button but walked away.

"Ouch...okay stay on topic. Wait a minute," an idea crossed his mind, "why don't you do it?"

"Why don't I do what?" She looked at him puzzled until she understood what he was asking. "Uh uh, no. No no never in a million years would I-"

"You said it yourself, it's not real. We'd be faking it. It's just so that I could get my job and then I'll be out of your hair...maybe not out of your hair,'' he leaned into her head, "it smells good. Lavender?"

"Stop sniffing me," she moved out of his reach. "And why would I want to do that? Even the thought of fake dating you gives me a migraine."

"As your fake boyfriend I will gladly prescribe you pain medication for that? Please?" He begged.

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"I said no, if you don't stop asking me that hair will no longer be attached to your head. I assume it'd be pretty difficult to find a woman willing to date you then, even if it is a fake relationship."

"I'll do your post ops for a week? Two weeks?"

She hesitated before answering. "Two months."

"A month in a half."

"Two months take it or leave it."

Derek stared at the stubborn woman and licked his lips. "Deal." They shook hands and he watched her walk off of the elevator, hips involuntarily swaying as she did so.