Never Expect The Unexpected: MERDER AU

Chapter 16

The one day she needed to rush home was the day it happened to be pouring. Meredith held her hands over her head and ran to her car, getting soaked in the process. She felt as if his body was still behind her in that cursed elevator. It didn't take her long to get to her vehicle.

"Damn it!" Meredith cursed as she got in the car and it wouldn't start. She triggered the ignition multiple times before giving up and throwing her head against her seat. She would've fallen asleep if it weren't for the roar of the car pulling in next to her.

"Get in!" Derek opened his passenger door from inside of his car and called out for her.

"I'll get a ride."

"Meredith. Get in." He wasn't asking her. She grabbed her keys and reluctantly got in next to him. Her hands rested in between her thighs, trying to create enough heat to keep them warm.

"Are you cold?" Derek took his eyes off of the road for a second to look at her shivering figure.

"I'm fine." She lied. "A little, yeah." Meredith watched him turn the knob that activated the heater and instantly began to warm up.

Meredith lived a bit of a distance from the hospital. It normally took her a half hour to get to work but she always seemed to manage. She started to relax against his seat as her body calmed down and her initial feelings to flee vanished. Meredith looked over at him gripping the wheel and navigating through the rain and she felt safe. It was as if he was a person she didn't necessarily like, but trusted.

"You know I wanted to have kids." Meredith muttered before she could stop herself. It was out now. She was telling him the thing she hadn't told another soul.

"I couldn't see that happening." Derek breathed through his nose and smiled, it disappeared when he looked over to her and saw she wasn't doing the same.

"Meredith I was just..."

"No it's." She ran her fingers through her damp hair and rested her head against her palm as her elbow propped up against his window.

"I wanted it more than anything. Not before. Before I was, reckless. Careless. I slept with so many men that year I wouldn't even know who the father was if it wasn't the man who."

"Meredith you don't have to..."

"The day I peed on that stick I thought everything was going to change. I would magically become some happy go lucky mom who...took her kids to soccer practice and, made friends with other moms. I was delusional." Meredith's foot tapped against the floor over and over as she spoke.

"I thought that everything I'd done could be forgiven and I could get a second chance. I thought...but God had other plans. Plans that involved my baby not making it long enough for me to get the chance to make a mistake. To put her clothes on backwards or her shoes on the wrong feet."

"Meredith." He watched the rate at which her leg bounced increase as she hid her face from his view.

"My baby died inside of my body, and I wasn't even strong enough to push her out. They cut her out of me and did God knows what- I'm. I did so many drugs that mo...I. I don't know why I'm telling you this I don't. We don't. We're not you don't I'm."

"Stop." Derek put his hand on her thigh to stop it from shaking and listened to the silence that came after she ceased her rambling.

"I'm sorry." Meredith whispered under her breath.

"Don't apologize. That guy. Whatever he did to you."

"Stop. He wasn't. That man loved me more than anyone in my life has. You don't get to...I treated him terribly. I knew how much he loved me and I...I treated him like he meant nothing. Like he was some worthless chew toy while I partied and got drunk with random men and he was at my house, building a crib for our chi..." Meredith inhaled and felt her eyes start to water again. She hoped the liquid from the rain would mask her tears as Derek held one hand on her thigh and the other on the steering wheel.

"I didn't even want that baby at first. It was for him. Once he passed it was like the only thing I had left to make it up to him. The only man who's ever loved me died while I was carrying his child. I couldn't even love him back. But that baby. It was supposed to be my second chance. It was supposed to make up for everything that I did to him. I was going to do better. Be better. And I didn't even get the chance to meet her." Meredith chattered and watched as the drops on the top of the window reached the bottom.

She wasn't upset, or sad, or miserable. She felt guilty. Guilty that an innocent man spent the last months of his life catering to her and showing her nothing but love when she didn't even feel the same way. Guilty that the one thing that man wanted, she couldn't even give him.

The only thing Derek could think of that might help was something he would never do if not necessary. The thing that he hated, and she knew it. The thing that somehow brought a person like her, joy.

"What are you doing?" Meredith questioned when the car came to an abrupt stop and Derek reached to unbuckle his seatbelt. He didn't say a word, but instead reached into his glove department and pulled out a cd.

Before Meredith could piece together what was happening she was being dragged out of the car while Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls sounded through his speakers.

*Writer's Note - Play the song while you read (or don't but I would)

"Derek."

"Shh...don't talk. Just dance."

"But you don't." Meredith was cut off by his untuned voice screaming the song lyrics. She stood there stunned with rain pouring down her body watching him shake his hands by his head and make all kinds of idiotic faces.

She shook her head when Derek held out his hand for her to join him. He did some type of movement with his hips that caused her to burst out into laughter and finally give in. Meredith took his hand and let him pull her into him, her back against his chest as they swayed to the music. Before she knew it he was spinning her around to face him and Derek started jumping up and down, forcing her to do the same as their hands remained connected.

"You're an idiot." Meredith giggled as they danced and Derek attempted to sing along.

"I said shh. Unless you want to sing too?" Meredith shook her head, throwing it back in amusement when his voice got louder and more out of tune.

Derek looked at her with the widest grin on his face and wrapped his arms around her waist, guiding her towards him. Meredith's breathing slowed and her heart beat quickened as he looked down at her in a way that he never had before. She didn't know what it was but it felt...refreshing. The red in her cheeks from the cold hid her blush as he pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear and tilted his head, giving her that dreamy look. She stared at his lips until they opened.

"Can I kiss you?" Derek asked her calmly. Meredith was confused. She had just told him something that should make him want to run for the hills. She didn't have time to think about it as every negative thought left her mind. The only thing she knew was that he was here. And it felt right.

Meredith nodded her head and hummed when his warm hands covered her cheeks and he leisurely leant in to meet her lips with his own. This kiss was different. It wasn't like the peck she gave him at the restaurant. It was slow. Calm. But not at all new. It felt like something they'd done a hundred times. Like something they'd do everyday for the rest of their lives; even though that wasn't true. Meredith put her hands against his chest and melted into the warmth that his body radiated.

When they finally pulled away from their kiss her head found its place against his chest and Derek held her tight against it. Not caring about how cold the world around them was. In that moment, nothing else mattered. She told him the thing she was afraid to share with anyone else and he didn't look at her like she was a monster. The Derek Shepherd that saw things in black and white, princesses and princes, looked at the Dark and twisty Meredith Grey and didn't run the opposite direction. Whether this meant they were friends, or sex buddies with benefits, it didn't matter to her. It just felt right.

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This might be the soppiest thing I've ever written. I've been to watching too many romcoms so I'm sorry but don't worry they're not going to magically transform into some sappy lovey-dovey couple that call each other babe every five seconds so don't take the book out of your library!

Also that song thing I don't know I thought it would be cool but let me know if you liked it and want me to incorporate songs in future chapters or if you thought it was stupid!