Vent

cold

"self harm", is so vague
what you may consider harmful,
i may consider healing

i enjoy sitting in the cold
in the dark dead of night,
when the temperature is at its lowest
you'll find me,
sitting with my sleeves rolled up
my hands under my chin,
resting my tired head

it's a mind game at its center
will my body shudder?
will the blood in my hands thicken, and freeze?
will my nose go numb from the wet lick of winter
how long can i take the feeling
of needles, under my skin

when my breathing gets trivial,
and i feel like i am at my limit
i relish the sensation
the thrill of letting the air constrict your vessel
until you bow to its greatness

i know i am alive,
because the bitter embrace of the mother
reminds me that my heart beats hot blood
i like sitting in the cold,
because you feel your own warmth so much
greater