Vent

if only youd let me..

pain demands to be felt
and i can't help but ache for you
because of the heartbreak,
and the trauma
and the loneliness
it still makes me sick thinking about it
thinking about you not eating, or taking care of yourself
reading all of the horrible things that have happened to you and around you
ive only ever wanted to see you become as whole and secure as I know you can be
to me, you were the strong one. you were the experienced and socially and actually intelligent one
and you'll always be that
i just wish I could be there for you.
not even to be mine, or to jump into anything crazy
just to be your friend
just to bring you some bud when you're having a worse day than usual,
to sit with you and let you get all of these nasty feelings off your chest
not that it would be strictly for that reason
truth be told, i just enjoy being around you.
even though you feel like you're not meant to love or be loved, I can say with certainty the latter will never be true.
because as long as this bitter old vessel still walks the earth you will always have someone who unconditionally will love you.

and i have no reason to.
you don't even read these, so im actually just.. talking to myself.
but even if it's a shot in the dark,
if there's any chance you can see this and takeaway that you're not unworthy of love and support,
then I'm happy.