Vent

Noise

I wish I could speak in the same voice I write.
But nobody would believe they're my words

Most are shocked to find out I have more depth to me than what I come across as.
I'm seen as shallow.
Dumb.
Replaceable.
Background noise.
The second choice, or the best of bad options.
I honestly don't know the point I'm trying to make?
There's a lot going on in my head...
It's stupid that one comment can strike an insecurity in me and send me through a loop and set my veins on fire.
White hot noise.
Foreground noise.
Deafening volumes of voices that aren't mine screaming at me that I will never be someone's first desire.
I'm not someone who will settle down with their partner and be happy.
I'm a rolling stone. I'm a Girl Scout cookie.
And not even a thin mint.
I'm stupid
Anyways
I guess, the point I'm trying to make is that I can't ever decipher what my head is telling me.
My heart can't be translated through the static.
I feel lost, and confused.
So angry. So frustrated.
Blind.

God I'm a mess.
Atleast I'm my own mess