Vent

questions i would ask you

if given the opportunity

if somehow, you'd agree to see me again

ive racked my brain over what i would say

ive wondered how id look you in the face

without showing what's still beneath the surface

what's always been there

i wouldn't know what to say.. what to ask

where to start

for now, i guess since i have time

i can have a plan, for the off chance

i just want to know...

if you remember me

if you ever see my face in a crowd,

or hear that song and realize what it was to us

i want to know if you ever miss me

not that i want you to feel the crushing longing

i dont want my memory, if it exists, to cause pain

or sorrow

i just want to know that the pain ive been through

and go through daily

is for a reason

this unanswered question is like a rot that I can't shake free of

it consumes me in thick, dark grief

reminds me that im broken with jagged edges

that only fit with yours

even though i know you've had greater loves

before, and after me

i don't compare

but do i have a place in your heart still

its selfish to ask, and in all honesty

unless you happen to read this

i dont think that i will ever have the stomach to

i want all these answers because i cant let go

for some reason, the in love kid in me has a firm grasp on your shirt collar

i dont want to accept that the only person ive ever felt truly comfortable, and safe, and loved with

when they picture who they truly desire most,
is not me

that what we had was insignificant

and again, i know its selfish

you have and have had a difficult life, to understate things

and if i were in your place, reading the pathetic dying throws of one of my exes, I'd probably roll my eyes

but I've just never felt right for anyone else

when i picture who im meant to be next to,

who is meant to be next to me

has always been you

but with all that in mind, when I find myself in the state, I'll only have one question

down to talk with an old friend?